Spent five days over Christmas with the in-laws.
"That's all I have to say about the war in Vietnam."
Forrest Gump
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Grace happens
I was leading a Bible study, a few years ago, for people who were new to Christianity and church. There were about seven or eight people there. We were going through the book of John. On that particular night, John chapter eight was what we were to read. This is the chapter about the woman caught in adultery.
And according to my custom, I ask if someone would like to read. A woman named D. said that she would. She starts reading out loud and when she reads how the people brought this woman caught in adultery to Jesus, D. begins to cry. She is frantically trying to hold back the tears as she struggles to read.
Needless to say, it was getting quite awkward in the room, but I have learned that these moments, though rare, are the workings of God in the lives of people. She continues to read and completely breaks down at the part where they say that this woman should be killed. She is sobbing as she reads how Jesus writes on the ground.
At this point I stop her and ask her if she would like someone else to finish. She looks up at me, with a tear stained face, and says, “No, I want to read. I have got to know how this ends.” And D. reads Jesus’ statement, “Neither do I condemn you, go your way. From now on sin no more.” And there on her face was the look. The look of someone forgiven.
I can, to this day, only imagine what was going on in D.’s mind, heart, and soul. Whether sometime in her past she was that woman, or she just identified with the embarrassment or the humiliation, I do not know. I don’t care. What I do know is this. In a little Bible study, sitting in a chair across from me, a person experienced the great feeling of grace. No, on second thought, she experienced the “presence” of grace. On that day “Grace came down”.
And according to my custom, I ask if someone would like to read. A woman named D. said that she would. She starts reading out loud and when she reads how the people brought this woman caught in adultery to Jesus, D. begins to cry. She is frantically trying to hold back the tears as she struggles to read.
Needless to say, it was getting quite awkward in the room, but I have learned that these moments, though rare, are the workings of God in the lives of people. She continues to read and completely breaks down at the part where they say that this woman should be killed. She is sobbing as she reads how Jesus writes on the ground.
At this point I stop her and ask her if she would like someone else to finish. She looks up at me, with a tear stained face, and says, “No, I want to read. I have got to know how this ends.” And D. reads Jesus’ statement, “Neither do I condemn you, go your way. From now on sin no more.” And there on her face was the look. The look of someone forgiven.
I can, to this day, only imagine what was going on in D.’s mind, heart, and soul. Whether sometime in her past she was that woman, or she just identified with the embarrassment or the humiliation, I do not know. I don’t care. What I do know is this. In a little Bible study, sitting in a chair across from me, a person experienced the great feeling of grace. No, on second thought, she experienced the “presence” of grace. On that day “Grace came down”.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Big
It was one of those moments when you knew that something special had just happened. This Sunday, singing in the church service, it occurred. As those words, best described as powerful and desperate, were being sung, I looked over to see a friend whose eyes seemed a little red. At first I thought my friend was tearing up, but then assumed it was due to a cold or allergies.
As we moved to the following song, the same feeling was there, only the desperation in the words had now changed to promise and hope. As I happened to glance over again, I noticed my friend beginning to cry. Softly and slowly at first, but as the song continued, the crying was replaced by weeping. Sometimes in life, God comes incredibly closer than normal, and then an encounter happens.
As I am getting quite moved by this event, I wonder what it is that is causing this moment. I recognized that the songs were quite moving for me as well, but it didn’t affect me like it had my friend. Were those tears brought on by concerns and worries about family members? Were they for friends? Was it because of an ongoing struggle in my friend’s life and my friend was finally being set free? Perhaps it was the assurance that God is in control and He will keep His promise. Or was it as if God were saying, “Here, let me lift that burden, it is too heavy for you alone”. Maybe it was a simple reminder that He is with us always.
But you know, it really doesn’t matter the “what” or the “why”. What mattered is that at 11:15 AM Sunday morning, my friend got a visit. And it was a beautiful sight to behold. And I was honored and humbled that I got to be a witness to that event.
I wanted so badly to go to my friend, at that moment, to stand alongside and to provide my own comfort, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. There wasn’t enough room for me. Because God was there. With my friend. And He’s a pretty big God.
As we moved to the following song, the same feeling was there, only the desperation in the words had now changed to promise and hope. As I happened to glance over again, I noticed my friend beginning to cry. Softly and slowly at first, but as the song continued, the crying was replaced by weeping. Sometimes in life, God comes incredibly closer than normal, and then an encounter happens.
As I am getting quite moved by this event, I wonder what it is that is causing this moment. I recognized that the songs were quite moving for me as well, but it didn’t affect me like it had my friend. Were those tears brought on by concerns and worries about family members? Were they for friends? Was it because of an ongoing struggle in my friend’s life and my friend was finally being set free? Perhaps it was the assurance that God is in control and He will keep His promise. Or was it as if God were saying, “Here, let me lift that burden, it is too heavy for you alone”. Maybe it was a simple reminder that He is with us always.
But you know, it really doesn’t matter the “what” or the “why”. What mattered is that at 11:15 AM Sunday morning, my friend got a visit. And it was a beautiful sight to behold. And I was honored and humbled that I got to be a witness to that event.
I wanted so badly to go to my friend, at that moment, to stand alongside and to provide my own comfort, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. There wasn’t enough room for me. Because God was there. With my friend. And He’s a pretty big God.
Monday, December 20, 2010
The Wounded Soldier
Flipping through the hymnal I found several hymns that have a soldier reference. These are referring to us, the believers, being soldiers of the cross marching into battle and being victorious. Probably the most famous is “Onward Christian Soldiers”. In this we march “as to war, with the cross of Jesus going on before’. Unlike regular wars that pit people against people, this war is spiritual and we fight the forces of darkness. But most of the songs paint a picture of a well-trained army marching toward and through enemy lines with ease, just like the biggest kid in the playground as he breaks the hand in hand chain of a Red Rover game.
What they don’t tell you is that there are far more wounded than there are the strong and powerful super-warrior who battles their way through the throng of enemies suffering only a drop of blood on the lip. Which by the way, is usually wiped off by the beautiful damsel right before the scene-ending kiss.
I am one of those wounded. And I would venture a guess that you are as well. Life has a way of doing that to you. Whether it is job issues, family issues, personal issue, or issues of the heart and soul, eventually they will wear you down. It wounds us just as a soldier who has been shot in the leg and arm in the midst of a furious battle.
And yet we fight on. Why? Because we must. There are other soldiers who need us. We must continue on and finish no matter how hurt or wounded we get. We are like “Rocky” who wanted to be standing at the end of the 15th round. We are like the marathon runner, exhausted from the grueling race, yet finishes only to collapse on the other side of the tape.
So we too, must finish. We must drag our broken bodies, and as we go we are helping and encouraging our fellow soldiers to finish, to endure to the end. And together, victorious we come. Limping into Heaven.
What they don’t tell you is that there are far more wounded than there are the strong and powerful super-warrior who battles their way through the throng of enemies suffering only a drop of blood on the lip. Which by the way, is usually wiped off by the beautiful damsel right before the scene-ending kiss.
I am one of those wounded. And I would venture a guess that you are as well. Life has a way of doing that to you. Whether it is job issues, family issues, personal issue, or issues of the heart and soul, eventually they will wear you down. It wounds us just as a soldier who has been shot in the leg and arm in the midst of a furious battle.
And yet we fight on. Why? Because we must. There are other soldiers who need us. We must continue on and finish no matter how hurt or wounded we get. We are like “Rocky” who wanted to be standing at the end of the 15th round. We are like the marathon runner, exhausted from the grueling race, yet finishes only to collapse on the other side of the tape.
So we too, must finish. We must drag our broken bodies, and as we go we are helping and encouraging our fellow soldiers to finish, to endure to the end. And together, victorious we come. Limping into Heaven.
Friday, December 17, 2010
The Dreamer
My son is a dreamer. It is very interesting and fun to watch my 2 ½ year old grow, not only physically, mentally, and socially, but also “imaginally”. Okay, I know that is not a word, but it does, however, best describe what I am to talk about.
Everyday at our house, we are treated to a theatrical show from I. as he, with perfect cadence, performs an excerpt from one of his many VeggieTales episodes. He will play all the parts of the scene. Though we can’t understand all of his words and sometimes struggle to recognize from what episode the particular scene is from, we enthusiastically enjoy the show. He performs it with passion and meaning up to and including hand gestures and eye rolls.
My son pretends and plays other things as well as performing. But as he does all of them, he does so with all of the feeling and emotion that it warrants. He observes, he recites, he plays, he imagines.
In fact, everything he does he does with all of his energy. Several people have used the word “spastic” when it comes to that energy. I prefer the term “excited” better. He gets excited and cannot contain himself. He hops and he runs and he likes to make loud noises. And all of this fits the personality of a dreamer. And I will let him dream.
I am a dreamer as well. All of my life I have, in some form or fashion, done the very same thing. The big difference, between my son and I, is his dreams can still come true. He has not yet known the reality of dreams being dampened or shot down or even crushed.
You see, in life, there are people who are very quick, and sometimes very willing, to explain with gusto why your dreams are foolish. And if people tell you that often enough, you begin to believe that your dreams are doomed even before they are attempted. And not soon after, you yourself will shoot your own dreams down before somebody else has the opportunity to do so.
And yet, dreamers can do little else but dream. So I still dream and hopefully I will let one dream live.
My son is a dreamer. And I will do everything I can to let him dream for as long as he chooses. Who knows, dreams sometimes do come true. “Imaginally” speaking.
Everyday at our house, we are treated to a theatrical show from I. as he, with perfect cadence, performs an excerpt from one of his many VeggieTales episodes. He will play all the parts of the scene. Though we can’t understand all of his words and sometimes struggle to recognize from what episode the particular scene is from, we enthusiastically enjoy the show. He performs it with passion and meaning up to and including hand gestures and eye rolls.
My son pretends and plays other things as well as performing. But as he does all of them, he does so with all of the feeling and emotion that it warrants. He observes, he recites, he plays, he imagines.
In fact, everything he does he does with all of his energy. Several people have used the word “spastic” when it comes to that energy. I prefer the term “excited” better. He gets excited and cannot contain himself. He hops and he runs and he likes to make loud noises. And all of this fits the personality of a dreamer. And I will let him dream.
I am a dreamer as well. All of my life I have, in some form or fashion, done the very same thing. The big difference, between my son and I, is his dreams can still come true. He has not yet known the reality of dreams being dampened or shot down or even crushed.
You see, in life, there are people who are very quick, and sometimes very willing, to explain with gusto why your dreams are foolish. And if people tell you that often enough, you begin to believe that your dreams are doomed even before they are attempted. And not soon after, you yourself will shoot your own dreams down before somebody else has the opportunity to do so.
And yet, dreamers can do little else but dream. So I still dream and hopefully I will let one dream live.
My son is a dreamer. And I will do everything I can to let him dream for as long as he chooses. Who knows, dreams sometimes do come true. “Imaginally” speaking.
Monday, December 13, 2010
"There go I"
Do they imagine, ponder or wonder?
Do they have dreams, goals or aspirations?
Do they see themselves as they are, as they used to be, as they want to be?
I see him rummaging through the trash for a used half-eaten sandwich.
How unhuman I see them because I see them as a stripped down version of a mammal scrounging to meet their basest need.
Do they have dreams, goals or aspirations?
Do they see themselves as they are, as they used to be, as they want to be?
I see him rummaging through the trash for a used half-eaten sandwich.
How unhuman I see them because I see them as a stripped down version of a mammal scrounging to meet their basest need.
I thought I truly cared about it, I mean “him”.
Do I see him as a man who was made in the image of God as I believe I am.
Why do I see him any less than me?
Does he dream, imagine, wonder or ponder?
Or is he just trying to eat a half turkey on rye from the dumpster?
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Service to remember
There was a funeral for a famous person the other day and hundreds of people were there to pay their last respects. It is quite a testimony to that life they lived. People attend who know them, admired them, and whose life has been touched by them. One can deduce that this person’s memory will last and last.
But what about those people who die “alone”? Those who don’t have many friends or family? When you outlive most of your friends, who will be there to pay their last respects? Is the value of a person determined by how many people attend your funeral or by the lasting memory cemented in the minds of your peers and family?
Hundred of years from now (sooner than that I am sure), I will not be remembered. Oh, there might be a headstone bearing my name. And you might find my name on a website when doing a history search regarding me, but there will probably be nothing else. What will anyone remember about me?
Thousands, no millions, of people have come and gone from this earth throughout time, and most of them have no one to be remembered by. No great accomplishment they did. No lasting legacy they left. No one. Nothing.
Perhaps, though, they have been remembered. Perhaps their anonymity was noticed. Perhaps, those that seem the least influential have somehow made the most difference in the lives of people and in the shaping of the world. I hope so. I want to be one of those people.
My vanity speaks to me saying, “You are a warm and caring person. Look at all the lives you have helped or influenced.” But I can’t think of any. Better get busy, then.
But what about those people who die “alone”? Those who don’t have many friends or family? When you outlive most of your friends, who will be there to pay their last respects? Is the value of a person determined by how many people attend your funeral or by the lasting memory cemented in the minds of your peers and family?
Hundred of years from now (sooner than that I am sure), I will not be remembered. Oh, there might be a headstone bearing my name. And you might find my name on a website when doing a history search regarding me, but there will probably be nothing else. What will anyone remember about me?
Thousands, no millions, of people have come and gone from this earth throughout time, and most of them have no one to be remembered by. No great accomplishment they did. No lasting legacy they left. No one. Nothing.
Perhaps, though, they have been remembered. Perhaps their anonymity was noticed. Perhaps, those that seem the least influential have somehow made the most difference in the lives of people and in the shaping of the world. I hope so. I want to be one of those people.
My vanity speaks to me saying, “You are a warm and caring person. Look at all the lives you have helped or influenced.” But I can’t think of any. Better get busy, then.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Two people
I’ve been praying for two people specifically. I want them to find a relationship with God. One, I met as we were having our small group. He was he cable guy and we invited him in to have some snacks and sit in on our study. The other is someone that I used to work with. Both come from different backgrounds and from different experiences. So every night for the past couple of months I have mentioned them to God. I’ve been praying for a specific encounter to occur that would draw them toward seeking God.
I pray for other people as well. But for some reason, I have especially prayed for these two. And yet nothing, as far as I can tell, has happened to change their lives. I am reminded about a person who prayed for 30 years for their husband or friend to come to know the Lord. Then after all of that time, they finally did. I don’t want to wait that long.
Why is it that God chooses to answer some prayers right away, or so it seems, and for other it takes years and years? And why does He not answer some at all? Many people have prayed for other people regarding salvation or a healing and it appears to fall on deaf ears. I know that God is God, and He can choose to do whatever He wants to. When L. died, I never questioned His right to allow that. I didn’t like it, but I never questioned it. But as they say, hindsight is 20/20. I am grateful that He produced something wonderful out of that tragedy. And by that I mean T. coming into my life. But I also know many people that after a spouse dies, they never find love. And even after they pray for it. Why do the prayers of a single person who truly desires to be married wake up day after day without a potential mate?
I have no answer, but I still have faith in Him. And I hope in Him. And I know this; sometimes He answers prayers. And when that occurs, thing happen and lives are changed. And I also know this; an unprayed prayer is never answered. So it seems that we should continue to pray. Continue to believe. Continue to hope.
So, I pray for these two specifically.
I pray for other people as well. But for some reason, I have especially prayed for these two. And yet nothing, as far as I can tell, has happened to change their lives. I am reminded about a person who prayed for 30 years for their husband or friend to come to know the Lord. Then after all of that time, they finally did. I don’t want to wait that long.
Why is it that God chooses to answer some prayers right away, or so it seems, and for other it takes years and years? And why does He not answer some at all? Many people have prayed for other people regarding salvation or a healing and it appears to fall on deaf ears. I know that God is God, and He can choose to do whatever He wants to. When L. died, I never questioned His right to allow that. I didn’t like it, but I never questioned it. But as they say, hindsight is 20/20. I am grateful that He produced something wonderful out of that tragedy. And by that I mean T. coming into my life. But I also know many people that after a spouse dies, they never find love. And even after they pray for it. Why do the prayers of a single person who truly desires to be married wake up day after day without a potential mate?
I have no answer, but I still have faith in Him. And I hope in Him. And I know this; sometimes He answers prayers. And when that occurs, thing happen and lives are changed. And I also know this; an unprayed prayer is never answered. So it seems that we should continue to pray. Continue to believe. Continue to hope.
So, I pray for these two specifically.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Choir member
The other night we went to a Christmas concert put on by the university that T. works for. There was an orchestra, jazz band, choir and chamber choir. Listening to them and to the songs of the holiday was really meaningful. It appeared that that there were about 600 people in the audience. Maybe more. A good turn out indeed.
Toward the end of the concert we, the audience, were asked to pick up our song booklets that were located on each seat and join in with the university choir and sing some old favorites. The last one was the Halleluiah Chorus. It was really enjoyable. Especially for me. And here is why.
Standing side by side with all of those people, and with song sheet in hand, singing that particular song made me think that for the first time I was a part of a choir. And I got a sense of what it may be like in heaven as we sang for the praise of our God and King. I was almost anticipating a tangible visit from the Most High.
When I was a teenager, I went to a youth group at a church near my house. All of the youth, except me, were raised in Christianity. I, on the other hand, was trying to discover my faith. Anyway, a church member wanted to have a youth choir. So, like most youth do, we all joined.
So there we were at first practice, youth in a line singing. The “director” stopped us and said, “Somebody is way off”. She went one by one and had us sing a certain word to determine the awfulness of noise. Yes, I was the awfulness. She had me sing it again and again trying to get me to hit the right note. But, to no avail. She finally just moved on. And so did I. I was a member of the choir for one practice, for one partial song.
Since that time, I don’t sing very loud. At church, I will sing all of the congregational songs. But I will sing softly. I know I can’t sing. I know I can’t “carry a tune”. And with others around, I sing even softer. Yet, I love music. And I love to sing. Those of you who can sing don’t understand the frustration of those of us who can’t sing but want to. So, when I am singing at church in a barely audible voice, inside my head and heart it is “top of my lungs” singing.
Until the other night.
On that night, along with 600 people, songbook in hand, I sang. I sang loud. I sang badly. But I sang nonetheless. Because for one night, I was a part of a choir.
Toward the end of the concert we, the audience, were asked to pick up our song booklets that were located on each seat and join in with the university choir and sing some old favorites. The last one was the Halleluiah Chorus. It was really enjoyable. Especially for me. And here is why.
Standing side by side with all of those people, and with song sheet in hand, singing that particular song made me think that for the first time I was a part of a choir. And I got a sense of what it may be like in heaven as we sang for the praise of our God and King. I was almost anticipating a tangible visit from the Most High.
When I was a teenager, I went to a youth group at a church near my house. All of the youth, except me, were raised in Christianity. I, on the other hand, was trying to discover my faith. Anyway, a church member wanted to have a youth choir. So, like most youth do, we all joined.
So there we were at first practice, youth in a line singing. The “director” stopped us and said, “Somebody is way off”. She went one by one and had us sing a certain word to determine the awfulness of noise. Yes, I was the awfulness. She had me sing it again and again trying to get me to hit the right note. But, to no avail. She finally just moved on. And so did I. I was a member of the choir for one practice, for one partial song.
Since that time, I don’t sing very loud. At church, I will sing all of the congregational songs. But I will sing softly. I know I can’t sing. I know I can’t “carry a tune”. And with others around, I sing even softer. Yet, I love music. And I love to sing. Those of you who can sing don’t understand the frustration of those of us who can’t sing but want to. So, when I am singing at church in a barely audible voice, inside my head and heart it is “top of my lungs” singing.
Until the other night.
On that night, along with 600 people, songbook in hand, I sang. I sang loud. I sang badly. But I sang nonetheless. Because for one night, I was a part of a choir.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Memory of the Old
Not to wax nostalgic, but there are some TV shows that I miss. They were the truly entertaining and had variety in them. At the risk of dating myself, here are a couple of shows that I miss.
The first one is “The Wonderful World of Disney”. When it came on, I would wonder what they would be showing for the evening. Would it be a documentary about some kind of animal? Would it be a mini-show about Daniel Boone? What cartoon would they show? Every week I waited to see what it would be. There was an excitement similar to opening a present and discovering the incredible contents inside.
The second is similar in the sense of expectations. And that was “The Wide World of Sports”. It spanned the globe and there was the “agony of defeat”. Poor guy. I would be glued to the TV in wonder to find out what sport they would be presenting. Could it be downhill skiing? Or possibly would it be gymnastics? No matter what, it was the excitement and anticipation.
Both of those were true entertainment. What happened to those types of shows that were produced purely for the sake of entertaining the audience? Nothing. Shows like that don’t exist. They never did. In my naivety, I only assumed that they did. No, the bottom line is, in fact, the bottom line. They exist to make money. And that is the only reason. If entertainment is a by-product of that, the so be it. But make no mistake about it, if no money is being made, then that show will cease to exist except in the simple mind of a man remembering his childhood. And maybe in reruns.
Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against making money. It is just an awareness of why there seems to be very low class shows and so many channels. It is to make money. If you are opposed to a certain show because of content, then don’t watch it. If enough people don’t watch it, then it will go away. Why? Because of the moral outrage? No. Because it does not make them money.
That’s all.
The first one is “The Wonderful World of Disney”. When it came on, I would wonder what they would be showing for the evening. Would it be a documentary about some kind of animal? Would it be a mini-show about Daniel Boone? What cartoon would they show? Every week I waited to see what it would be. There was an excitement similar to opening a present and discovering the incredible contents inside.
The second is similar in the sense of expectations. And that was “The Wide World of Sports”. It spanned the globe and there was the “agony of defeat”. Poor guy. I would be glued to the TV in wonder to find out what sport they would be presenting. Could it be downhill skiing? Or possibly would it be gymnastics? No matter what, it was the excitement and anticipation.
Both of those were true entertainment. What happened to those types of shows that were produced purely for the sake of entertaining the audience? Nothing. Shows like that don’t exist. They never did. In my naivety, I only assumed that they did. No, the bottom line is, in fact, the bottom line. They exist to make money. And that is the only reason. If entertainment is a by-product of that, the so be it. But make no mistake about it, if no money is being made, then that show will cease to exist except in the simple mind of a man remembering his childhood. And maybe in reruns.
Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against making money. It is just an awareness of why there seems to be very low class shows and so many channels. It is to make money. If you are opposed to a certain show because of content, then don’t watch it. If enough people don’t watch it, then it will go away. Why? Because of the moral outrage? No. Because it does not make them money.
That’s all.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
The Holiday after
So this last weekend was the Thanksgiving holiday. Like I had mentioned earlier, it was to be very different for me. And it was. It started Wednesday. T. and I started the preparation for dinner and cooked the turkey. In the evening we watched “Rocky” and had pizza.
Thanksgiving day found us doing more cooking and getting the house ready for our guests. This year we invited good friends to dinner. Our families, it turned out, were all out of town. It was a great day of food and laughs. I really enjoyed myself. And I found out a friend of mine is a juggler. Who knew?
Normally, I would begin the fretting of going to work and dealing with all the Black Friday happenstance. And this leads to not enjoying oneself as much on Thanksgiving. Dealing with the traffic and finding a parking spot is stressful enough sometimes, but the influx of shoppers is crazy at times. Most of the time you don’t even go out for lunch due to the crowds.
This Black Friday we stayed home and had a turkey sandwich. Later in the afternoon we went to some friends house and watched the Oregon football game. That evening we watched another movie.
Saturday was another relaxing day. Retail management means that you work Saturdays. Especially during the holidays. It was spent with a quick trip to Target for paper needs and then “ELF” the great Christmas classic.
Sunday was church and then relaxing at home.
So was my weekend. And it was one of the greatest weekends I have had. And I am reminder that it has been four months since we made the changes. All in all, it has been good. Sometimes being at home can be less productive as I had hoped. But truthfully, going into this, there was no plan. Just a simple belief that God can and will provide. Not because of us, but because of His greatness.
Thinking back, here are some things I would have missed out on.
Monday night Small Group.
Church picnic and three other picnics.
Trip to Hood River with my family.
Trip to coast with friends.
Finishing up the guest room.
A quick trip to the coast for dinner.
The carousal with I.
Watching I. grow daily.
I know it is just a few little things, but it has meant a lot to me. More to come.
Thanksgiving day found us doing more cooking and getting the house ready for our guests. This year we invited good friends to dinner. Our families, it turned out, were all out of town. It was a great day of food and laughs. I really enjoyed myself. And I found out a friend of mine is a juggler. Who knew?
Normally, I would begin the fretting of going to work and dealing with all the Black Friday happenstance. And this leads to not enjoying oneself as much on Thanksgiving. Dealing with the traffic and finding a parking spot is stressful enough sometimes, but the influx of shoppers is crazy at times. Most of the time you don’t even go out for lunch due to the crowds.
This Black Friday we stayed home and had a turkey sandwich. Later in the afternoon we went to some friends house and watched the Oregon football game. That evening we watched another movie.
Saturday was another relaxing day. Retail management means that you work Saturdays. Especially during the holidays. It was spent with a quick trip to Target for paper needs and then “ELF” the great Christmas classic.
Sunday was church and then relaxing at home.
So was my weekend. And it was one of the greatest weekends I have had. And I am reminder that it has been four months since we made the changes. All in all, it has been good. Sometimes being at home can be less productive as I had hoped. But truthfully, going into this, there was no plan. Just a simple belief that God can and will provide. Not because of us, but because of His greatness.
Thinking back, here are some things I would have missed out on.
Monday night Small Group.
Church picnic and three other picnics.
Trip to Hood River with my family.
Trip to coast with friends.
Finishing up the guest room.
A quick trip to the coast for dinner.
The carousal with I.
Watching I. grow daily.
I know it is just a few little things, but it has meant a lot to me. More to come.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Where does Joel go?
I’ve been quite obsessed with the 11:00 news. And not just any station, CBS station KOIN channel 6. Not the whole news, just the first big story. It goes something like this.
“The top story tonight is. . . . We now go live on scene with our KOIN reporter Joel Iwanaga. Hello, Joel. . .” And then there is the story.
So for the past couple of weeks, there’s been good old Joel at some news worthy location reporting. Yesterday he was at the interstate bridge talking about delays on I-5. And then in a parking lot, he was discussing winter car preparation. This past week there were Iwanaga sighting in Hillsboro, Gresham, and West Linn. He’s like a “Where in the world is Carmen SanDiego” character.
I find myself wondering where he will be next. Will he be by the capital in Salem reporting on politics? Or at the coast, reporting on the winter storm? Or by a store in NE Portland after a robbery? Who knows where that Joel will go?
He must travel a lot of miles a week in his job. Wherever the news is, they send Joel out. I wonder if he gets to work and they say, “hold on Joel, we need you to drive to Corvallis. There’s a story of a car that ran into a house.” So off he goes. He grabs a quick bite at a fast food place and jumps in the vehicle along with the camera crew. He goes off to the front lines while the anchors are getting make up and sitting in there air conditioned or heated studio drinking lattes and herbal tea.
Another Joel sighting is just around the corner on the evening news. Way to go Joel. Way to go.
“The top story tonight is. . . . We now go live on scene with our KOIN reporter Joel Iwanaga. Hello, Joel. . .” And then there is the story.
So for the past couple of weeks, there’s been good old Joel at some news worthy location reporting. Yesterday he was at the interstate bridge talking about delays on I-5. And then in a parking lot, he was discussing winter car preparation. This past week there were Iwanaga sighting in Hillsboro, Gresham, and West Linn. He’s like a “Where in the world is Carmen SanDiego” character.
I find myself wondering where he will be next. Will he be by the capital in Salem reporting on politics? Or at the coast, reporting on the winter storm? Or by a store in NE Portland after a robbery? Who knows where that Joel will go?
He must travel a lot of miles a week in his job. Wherever the news is, they send Joel out. I wonder if he gets to work and they say, “hold on Joel, we need you to drive to Corvallis. There’s a story of a car that ran into a house.” So off he goes. He grabs a quick bite at a fast food place and jumps in the vehicle along with the camera crew. He goes off to the front lines while the anchors are getting make up and sitting in there air conditioned or heated studio drinking lattes and herbal tea.
Another Joel sighting is just around the corner on the evening news. Way to go Joel. Way to go.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Holiday cheer
I am looking forward to this holiday season. For a couple of reasons. Now you might think, “Who isn’t excited?” Normally, it would be me. After working about 12 years in retail, the holiday season is one of the busiest and stressful times of the year. Especially when you are middle management.
It starts when your store begins to get an influx of product in late October and early November. In off-price retail, the goal is to get all of the merchandise out of the warehouse and onto the sales floor. So, you just “cram” it out and display as good as possible. Then there is the late night on Wednesday to finalize everything before “Black Friday”. In off-price retail, the store is closed on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter.
Thanksgiving is a good day with family and friends. But you are always thinking about the next day and the impending busyness. Everybody works on “Black Friday”. And from then until Christmas Eve, your life consists of long hours, six-day workweeks, irritable customers (some, not all, but the irritable ones are usually the loudest), exhausted associates, and stress. By the time Christmas rolls around, you are tired, spent, and sometimes a little sick. Don’t get me wrong, the retail business has some great points and moments, but the holiday season is a busy blur.
This year, however, I am not working. So the four weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas will be different and “normal”. Even though we have little money, I am still looking forward to it all. Like going and seeing Christmas lights. Like enjoying a Christmas play. Like listening to Christmas music. Like strolling through the mall shopping. Like drinking peppermint mochas and eggnog. Like remembering the reason, the birth of the incarnate God.
Another reason I am excited about this holiday is that we will be traveling to T.’s parents for Christmas. In retail, you get Christmas off but have to work the next day. You know, for all the returns. But this year we will be out of town for Christmas. And that hasn’t happened in years.
The exciting part is that we will be driving on Christmas Eve. The seven-hour drive eastward. I can imagine it now. The cold, crisp air chilling our nostrils. Snow will be falling as we get out of the car and rushing in to a restaurant to fill our bellies. The conversation we will have with the stranger sitting by himself at the counter warming his hands on his coffee cup. Oh, the stories he will tell us about his life and Christmases past.
Then there is the arrival at the house, seeing the decorated tree, Christmas music playing in the background as we sip hot chocolate before we put our son to bed so he can have visions of sugarplums. It is just like a made for TV movie.
That is how I will remember this holiday, no matter what happens.
It starts when your store begins to get an influx of product in late October and early November. In off-price retail, the goal is to get all of the merchandise out of the warehouse and onto the sales floor. So, you just “cram” it out and display as good as possible. Then there is the late night on Wednesday to finalize everything before “Black Friday”. In off-price retail, the store is closed on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter.
Thanksgiving is a good day with family and friends. But you are always thinking about the next day and the impending busyness. Everybody works on “Black Friday”. And from then until Christmas Eve, your life consists of long hours, six-day workweeks, irritable customers (some, not all, but the irritable ones are usually the loudest), exhausted associates, and stress. By the time Christmas rolls around, you are tired, spent, and sometimes a little sick. Don’t get me wrong, the retail business has some great points and moments, but the holiday season is a busy blur.
This year, however, I am not working. So the four weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas will be different and “normal”. Even though we have little money, I am still looking forward to it all. Like going and seeing Christmas lights. Like enjoying a Christmas play. Like listening to Christmas music. Like strolling through the mall shopping. Like drinking peppermint mochas and eggnog. Like remembering the reason, the birth of the incarnate God.
Another reason I am excited about this holiday is that we will be traveling to T.’s parents for Christmas. In retail, you get Christmas off but have to work the next day. You know, for all the returns. But this year we will be out of town for Christmas. And that hasn’t happened in years.
The exciting part is that we will be driving on Christmas Eve. The seven-hour drive eastward. I can imagine it now. The cold, crisp air chilling our nostrils. Snow will be falling as we get out of the car and rushing in to a restaurant to fill our bellies. The conversation we will have with the stranger sitting by himself at the counter warming his hands on his coffee cup. Oh, the stories he will tell us about his life and Christmases past.
Then there is the arrival at the house, seeing the decorated tree, Christmas music playing in the background as we sip hot chocolate before we put our son to bed so he can have visions of sugarplums. It is just like a made for TV movie.
That is how I will remember this holiday, no matter what happens.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
The Cable Guy
Every Monday evening we host a Small group study at our home. This last Monday, as we were getting started with the group, there was a knock on the door. I thought it was someone from our group who was running a little bit late. I just about told the knocker to ‘come on in”, but decided to open the door.
Standing there is a cable representative asking about our services. I let him know that we already have their services. The conversation is as follows:
Cable: “Looks like you have just our basic cable.”
Me: “Yes, and we are fine with that.”
Cable: “What about internet?”
Me: “We have that as well.”
Cable: “Looks like you have the slowest speed.”
Me: “Yes, and I’m fine with that.”
Cable: “Really? You don’t want faster?”
Me: “No, we’re good.”
Cable: “What about a phone?”
Me: “Already have one of those.”
Cable: “Oh.”
Me: “We are having Bible study inside. You are welcome to come in.”
Cable: “No, that is all right. I’ve been at one where we were reading Daniel.”
Me: “Well come on in. We would love to have you.”
Cable: “No thanks, I’m working.”
Me: “Then just take a break and come in and have some snacks. There’s plenty.”
Cable: “Well, just for a bit.”
That is how B the Cable guy became part of our study. He sat through the whole group time and enjoyed a variety of snacks. He also participated with a comment about some friends and family. And he kept saying how nice we all were. He did at the end leave his number if we had any needs. I assume cable needs.
So here is what I know. Things and events don’t just happen. There he was working away. There we were having a small group study. There was the welcoming invitation. And there was the acceptance of the invitation. Something was there, however, to drawn him into a house full of strangers to listen to a Bible message.
From a bit of his conversation one can conclude that he is trying to do his best. Since he was out at night, this is probably a second part-time job. He mentioned his stepdaughter and some tension. I assume they struggle with the roles, which can bring frustration at home. He values true friendships but they are few and far between. He has experienced some form of loss in his life.
Will we see him again? Don’t know. But I do know this, that God loves him. And God desires a relationship with him. And maybe there will be another drawing. Nothing just happens.
Standing there is a cable representative asking about our services. I let him know that we already have their services. The conversation is as follows:
Cable: “Looks like you have just our basic cable.”
Me: “Yes, and we are fine with that.”
Cable: “What about internet?”
Me: “We have that as well.”
Cable: “Looks like you have the slowest speed.”
Me: “Yes, and I’m fine with that.”
Cable: “Really? You don’t want faster?”
Me: “No, we’re good.”
Cable: “What about a phone?”
Me: “Already have one of those.”
Cable: “Oh.”
Me: “We are having Bible study inside. You are welcome to come in.”
Cable: “No, that is all right. I’ve been at one where we were reading Daniel.”
Me: “Well come on in. We would love to have you.”
Cable: “No thanks, I’m working.”
Me: “Then just take a break and come in and have some snacks. There’s plenty.”
Cable: “Well, just for a bit.”
That is how B the Cable guy became part of our study. He sat through the whole group time and enjoyed a variety of snacks. He also participated with a comment about some friends and family. And he kept saying how nice we all were. He did at the end leave his number if we had any needs. I assume cable needs.
So here is what I know. Things and events don’t just happen. There he was working away. There we were having a small group study. There was the welcoming invitation. And there was the acceptance of the invitation. Something was there, however, to drawn him into a house full of strangers to listen to a Bible message.
From a bit of his conversation one can conclude that he is trying to do his best. Since he was out at night, this is probably a second part-time job. He mentioned his stepdaughter and some tension. I assume they struggle with the roles, which can bring frustration at home. He values true friendships but they are few and far between. He has experienced some form of loss in his life.
Will we see him again? Don’t know. But I do know this, that God loves him. And God desires a relationship with him. And maybe there will be another drawing. Nothing just happens.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Six Deaths
There have been a lot of deaths lately. It seems like everyday in the news there is another person who has died. By being murdered, hit by a car, swept away by a big wave, or natural causes (whatever that means). The situations are all different, but the results are the same. Somebody is no longer living. And we have to deal with it.
While I am not going to get into the theology of death at this time, although it is somehow fascinating to me, there is a reality that those who have lost someone will no doubt spend a lifetime trying to understand. I myself have had to work through five deaths that were personally connected to me.
My grandfather died when I was a kid. Though I was sad, it did not impact me until the funeral. Right before we went to the funeral, I saw a tear in my dad’s eye. That is something I had never seen before and only remember one other time I ever saw my dad cry. But at the funeral I began to cry and could not stop for a long time.
My dad died when I was a young man. It was two years from the time he was diagnosed until he passed away. I was living in the Seattle area and drove home after my mom called and said the doctor thought Dad had only two weeks to live. I drove back to share with him the hope that we have in Jesus. And two weeks after receiving Jesus as Savior, my dad died. After seeing him for the last time, he hugged my neck and cried.
My wife died in 2004. It was very unexpected. No one was aware of the situation. I went to work one day and by the time I got home she had passed away. It took me over a year to finally feel like moving on in life.
Z., a youth in our youth group drowned in 2007. Vibrant and full of life and in an instance he was gone. We loved him so much and loved his commitment to Jesus so much that we gave his name to our son.
My mom died this June. She had been having some difficulty for about eight months. She was hospitalized for a couple of weeks and the day after her 80th birthday she passed away.
T. got a message that a woman at her work just lost her husband. He had been terminal for a while. The other day she and her husband had decided together that it was time for him to move to a care facility. She was thankful that they made that decision together. The next day she wrote that her “sweet D. passed away today at noon”.
You can tell the extreme love that was there. There was a sadness that he had to be moved to a care facility. She was exhausted from the ordeal. Maybe, he knew it was time for her to be free from all of that. Maybe he didn’t want to be apart from her. And all of it, God’s timing.
Sometimes I think God’s timing is strange. And I don’t presume to know why He chooses us to go through certain things. But we forge ahead in hope, in trust, and in praise. To Him the glory!
While I am not going to get into the theology of death at this time, although it is somehow fascinating to me, there is a reality that those who have lost someone will no doubt spend a lifetime trying to understand. I myself have had to work through five deaths that were personally connected to me.
My grandfather died when I was a kid. Though I was sad, it did not impact me until the funeral. Right before we went to the funeral, I saw a tear in my dad’s eye. That is something I had never seen before and only remember one other time I ever saw my dad cry. But at the funeral I began to cry and could not stop for a long time.
My dad died when I was a young man. It was two years from the time he was diagnosed until he passed away. I was living in the Seattle area and drove home after my mom called and said the doctor thought Dad had only two weeks to live. I drove back to share with him the hope that we have in Jesus. And two weeks after receiving Jesus as Savior, my dad died. After seeing him for the last time, he hugged my neck and cried.
My wife died in 2004. It was very unexpected. No one was aware of the situation. I went to work one day and by the time I got home she had passed away. It took me over a year to finally feel like moving on in life.
Z., a youth in our youth group drowned in 2007. Vibrant and full of life and in an instance he was gone. We loved him so much and loved his commitment to Jesus so much that we gave his name to our son.
My mom died this June. She had been having some difficulty for about eight months. She was hospitalized for a couple of weeks and the day after her 80th birthday she passed away.
T. got a message that a woman at her work just lost her husband. He had been terminal for a while. The other day she and her husband had decided together that it was time for him to move to a care facility. She was thankful that they made that decision together. The next day she wrote that her “sweet D. passed away today at noon”.
You can tell the extreme love that was there. There was a sadness that he had to be moved to a care facility. She was exhausted from the ordeal. Maybe, he knew it was time for her to be free from all of that. Maybe he didn’t want to be apart from her. And all of it, God’s timing.
Sometimes I think God’s timing is strange. And I don’t presume to know why He chooses us to go through certain things. But we forge ahead in hope, in trust, and in praise. To Him the glory!
Friday, November 12, 2010
Hairbrush
One of the most famous of VeggieTales songs is the “Hairbrush” song. It is where Larry the Cucumber is in a towel after his shower and is looking for his hairbrush. Several characters hear him singing about his hairbrush and come in only to see Larry in his towel. There is an awkward and slightly embarrassing moment at the sight. The last person to come in is the “peach” who is also in a towel. After the awkward and slightly embarrassing moment, the “peach “ thanks Larry for the hairbrush. More about this in a minute.
The daily routine in our house is as follows. In the morning T. gets ready for work while I get breakfast and tea for her. After she leaves I will have a cup of coffee and check the news. When our little boy I. wakes up, I will put him in the highchair and give him his breakfast while he watches his “soaps”. These consist of Sesame Street, Sid the science kid, and Clifford the big red dog. It is at that time I will rush in, get a shower, and get ready for my day.
On this particular morning, everything was going according to schedule. I. was in his highchair having breakfast and it was my time to jump into the shower. Water on, shower running, me getting in shower. Just like everyday.
From inside the shower, I hear a loud “clunk” and an “ohh” sound coming from the front room. It sounds like he has tipped over in his chair. I yell to him (the bathroom door being open), “Are you all right?” I was hoping to hear “I okay”. Nothing but silence.
I quickly grab a towel, wrap it around me and rush into the front room leaving a trail of water footprints and drip spots on the floor. I turn the corner and my son is still sitting in his highchair watching TV just like every other day. His “sippy cup” had dropped on the ground, that’s all. And my boy is looking at me. In my towel.
Feeling awkward and slightly embarrassed, the scene reminds me of the “Hairbrush” song, only I am not Larry, the tall slender green cucumber. No, I am the short stout “peach”. Thanks for the hairbrush.
The daily routine in our house is as follows. In the morning T. gets ready for work while I get breakfast and tea for her. After she leaves I will have a cup of coffee and check the news. When our little boy I. wakes up, I will put him in the highchair and give him his breakfast while he watches his “soaps”. These consist of Sesame Street, Sid the science kid, and Clifford the big red dog. It is at that time I will rush in, get a shower, and get ready for my day.
On this particular morning, everything was going according to schedule. I. was in his highchair having breakfast and it was my time to jump into the shower. Water on, shower running, me getting in shower. Just like everyday.
From inside the shower, I hear a loud “clunk” and an “ohh” sound coming from the front room. It sounds like he has tipped over in his chair. I yell to him (the bathroom door being open), “Are you all right?” I was hoping to hear “I okay”. Nothing but silence.
I quickly grab a towel, wrap it around me and rush into the front room leaving a trail of water footprints and drip spots on the floor. I turn the corner and my son is still sitting in his highchair watching TV just like every other day. His “sippy cup” had dropped on the ground, that’s all. And my boy is looking at me. In my towel.
Feeling awkward and slightly embarrassed, the scene reminds me of the “Hairbrush” song, only I am not Larry, the tall slender green cucumber. No, I am the short stout “peach”. Thanks for the hairbrush.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Ideology
Well, another election year has come and gone. This was a close one again and the shift of power seemed to change.
While free elections and peaceful transition of power is a great thing, there is a trend that is becoming more and more disturbing. With the tightness of many political races and with many incumbents losing their seats or just barely hanging on, the conclusion is that our country is definitely divided. And it seems like that division is pretty much right down the middle. This is not good for America.
You see, it is not a matter of being a Democrat or Republican and it is not a matter of the issues that each party stands for; it is matter of ideology. And one ideology is so far from the other ideology at this point that it makes it difficult to find common ground. I am not talking about compromise; I am talking about common ground. To have healthy conversation or debate, each group has to agree or at least understand that which is common with the other side. It is from that commonality that change can occur.
So what is this ideology that separates America today? I don’t believe it is the difference of more government or less government involvement. I don’t think it is about “pro” this or “anti” that. The ideology that separates us is life.
Life. How we view it and our response to it is, I believe, the underlying foundation to both sides. Is it random or is it planned? Is it a right or a privilege? What are we accountable for and for what are we responsible?
Here are some points from the sides. Life is a right. We are accountable for our own actions and there are natural consequences to those actions. We have a responsibility to care for those less fortunate and sometimes people need a helpful hand out. There is a dignity that should accompany life.
We are so polarized on this and philosophically what this issue means that one wonders if unity can ever be achieved. We don’t need to think the same but to think together.
While free elections and peaceful transition of power is a great thing, there is a trend that is becoming more and more disturbing. With the tightness of many political races and with many incumbents losing their seats or just barely hanging on, the conclusion is that our country is definitely divided. And it seems like that division is pretty much right down the middle. This is not good for America.
You see, it is not a matter of being a Democrat or Republican and it is not a matter of the issues that each party stands for; it is matter of ideology. And one ideology is so far from the other ideology at this point that it makes it difficult to find common ground. I am not talking about compromise; I am talking about common ground. To have healthy conversation or debate, each group has to agree or at least understand that which is common with the other side. It is from that commonality that change can occur.
So what is this ideology that separates America today? I don’t believe it is the difference of more government or less government involvement. I don’t think it is about “pro” this or “anti” that. The ideology that separates us is life.
Life. How we view it and our response to it is, I believe, the underlying foundation to both sides. Is it random or is it planned? Is it a right or a privilege? What are we accountable for and for what are we responsible?
Here are some points from the sides. Life is a right. We are accountable for our own actions and there are natural consequences to those actions. We have a responsibility to care for those less fortunate and sometimes people need a helpful hand out. There is a dignity that should accompany life.
We are so polarized on this and philosophically what this issue means that one wonders if unity can ever be achieved. We don’t need to think the same but to think together.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Busy
So this last week was busy.. And the one coming up is full as well.
My oldest son was getting married on Saturday. And I was officiating. So, I worked on writing the service and e-mailed it to his bride-to-be so it could be translated in Spanish as the service was to be bilingual. My other son and daughter were flying in the Friday before and we were going to pick them up from the airport. As the airport is about an hour north from our house, we would just spend the day in Portland. Her flight came in at 11:30am and his at 7:10pm. So we picked her up, went to lunch, shopped at IKEA and other stores, and it was only 3 pm. Four more hours to kill. So we went to a couple of other stores and ended at Target, looked around, and stopped at the Starbucks to sit and relax with a nice coffee. Time now 6:00pm. One hour left. Time is not on our side. Poor I. hadn’t napped at all. Finally, 7pm rolls around, we pick up my son and off to Taco Bell and then home. Long day.
Saturday finds us all getting ready in the morning and driving to Eugene by noon for a rehearsal. Eugene is about an hour and fifteen-minute drive south from our home. When we arrived, they were still decorating the room and time ran out before we could have a rehearsal. The wedding started 40 minutes late, as a couple of guests hadn’t arrived yet. And poor I. hadn’t napped at all.
It was a very nice wedding. We stayed until 6:30pm at the reception and then drove home. At home we just sat in the front room until about 9 when we put I. to bed. The next morning we got up went to church and ate lunch at a restaurant. We hung around home until about 8pm and drove my son back to the airport where he would fly all night to get home and then drive to class.
This Monday we will have our Small Group and Tuesday is T.’s birthday.
Busy yes, but also a good week.
My oldest son was getting married on Saturday. And I was officiating. So, I worked on writing the service and e-mailed it to his bride-to-be so it could be translated in Spanish as the service was to be bilingual. My other son and daughter were flying in the Friday before and we were going to pick them up from the airport. As the airport is about an hour north from our house, we would just spend the day in Portland. Her flight came in at 11:30am and his at 7:10pm. So we picked her up, went to lunch, shopped at IKEA and other stores, and it was only 3 pm. Four more hours to kill. So we went to a couple of other stores and ended at Target, looked around, and stopped at the Starbucks to sit and relax with a nice coffee. Time now 6:00pm. One hour left. Time is not on our side. Poor I. hadn’t napped at all. Finally, 7pm rolls around, we pick up my son and off to Taco Bell and then home. Long day.
Saturday finds us all getting ready in the morning and driving to Eugene by noon for a rehearsal. Eugene is about an hour and fifteen-minute drive south from our home. When we arrived, they were still decorating the room and time ran out before we could have a rehearsal. The wedding started 40 minutes late, as a couple of guests hadn’t arrived yet. And poor I. hadn’t napped at all.
It was a very nice wedding. We stayed until 6:30pm at the reception and then drove home. At home we just sat in the front room until about 9 when we put I. to bed. The next morning we got up went to church and ate lunch at a restaurant. We hung around home until about 8pm and drove my son back to the airport where he would fly all night to get home and then drive to class.
This Monday we will have our Small Group and Tuesday is T.’s birthday.
Busy yes, but also a good week.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Electricity
So, we get our electric bill. Our property has two separate meters. One is for the house, which still has a fuse box. The other is for the garage primarily, but the house furnace is wired into the garage. This one runs through a circuit breaker box. The previous owner has the garage wired for 220 volt as he had a wood shop in there. So, we get two bills. One envelope, but two bills.
Every time we receive the bill, it is opened with a bit of trepidation not knowing how expensive it will be. Did I mention that our house is all electric? The bills will vary from $85 a month in the spring and autumn to $250 during the summer or winter depending on the severity of the weather. We budget for some where in the middle.
I open the envelope and look at the bill for the garage. Not bad. It was about as low as last month. The garage bill is the lower of the two. I turn the page to check the house bill. Will it be $80, $100, $130, or more? In the box where the amount should be I simply read “none”.
Apparently this month there was some kind of credit for the house bill. And from the way it looks, there is enough credit left in our account that next month’s bill will be paid as well. This is very exciting, as I have been praying that God would send an indication that He will indeed provide. It is easy to say we trust Him, but it can be difficult to do the actual trusting.
So, with the unexpected light bulb shipment and the “free electricity”, I am humbled and hopeful. Thanks.
Every time we receive the bill, it is opened with a bit of trepidation not knowing how expensive it will be. Did I mention that our house is all electric? The bills will vary from $85 a month in the spring and autumn to $250 during the summer or winter depending on the severity of the weather. We budget for some where in the middle.
I open the envelope and look at the bill for the garage. Not bad. It was about as low as last month. The garage bill is the lower of the two. I turn the page to check the house bill. Will it be $80, $100, $130, or more? In the box where the amount should be I simply read “none”.
Apparently this month there was some kind of credit for the house bill. And from the way it looks, there is enough credit left in our account that next month’s bill will be paid as well. This is very exciting, as I have been praying that God would send an indication that He will indeed provide. It is easy to say we trust Him, but it can be difficult to do the actual trusting.
So, with the unexpected light bulb shipment and the “free electricity”, I am humbled and hopeful. Thanks.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Voting
So this is an election year as I am sure that everybody knows by now. I was anticipating receiving my ballot in the mail and casting my vote. This is a very important election. If you choose not to vote, then I find it difficult to make commentary upon measures and the way our elected officials legislate. And this election I seem to have very strong convictions.
It is a struggle for me at times, as I see candidates having issues that I both agree and disagree. So I ponder, and research to see whom I will cast my vote for. Some are in favor of some things I am in favor, but some things I am opposed and they are in favor.
This time it was easier as there seems to be two sides with completely opposite political beliefs. I know the major parties have always been at odds with one another, but it seems like the division between the two are becoming more polarizing than ever before. And it appears that the America voters are split right down the middle. You can tell by the ads they are airing. They are airing false and half-truths about the other policies and views. And if that doesn’t seem to work, they get personal and dig up “dirt” about the other to make them look hideous. I believe the candidates think we the “people” are not smart enough to make informed choices.
Well anyway, we never received our ballots. When I checked I realized they were mailed to our post office box, which we no longer have. So upon further research I found out you could change you mailing address online. After completing the change, I was informed that on the next election the ballots would be sent to the new address.
So I was very pleased when on Thursday both T.’s and my ballot were in our mailbox. I opened it up, marked my selections, sealed it up, and put a stamp on it. Total time taken: seven minutes.
Who did I vote for? I’ll give you a hint. . .
It is a struggle for me at times, as I see candidates having issues that I both agree and disagree. So I ponder, and research to see whom I will cast my vote for. Some are in favor of some things I am in favor, but some things I am opposed and they are in favor.
This time it was easier as there seems to be two sides with completely opposite political beliefs. I know the major parties have always been at odds with one another, but it seems like the division between the two are becoming more polarizing than ever before. And it appears that the America voters are split right down the middle. You can tell by the ads they are airing. They are airing false and half-truths about the other policies and views. And if that doesn’t seem to work, they get personal and dig up “dirt” about the other to make them look hideous. I believe the candidates think we the “people” are not smart enough to make informed choices.
Well anyway, we never received our ballots. When I checked I realized they were mailed to our post office box, which we no longer have. So upon further research I found out you could change you mailing address online. After completing the change, I was informed that on the next election the ballots would be sent to the new address.
So I was very pleased when on Thursday both T.’s and my ballot were in our mailbox. I opened it up, marked my selections, sealed it up, and put a stamp on it. Total time taken: seven minutes.
Who did I vote for? I’ll give you a hint. . .
light
Two times I have been to the store to get light bulbs. I need to replace a couple and it is good to always have back up. The first time I didn’t grab them at all. The second trip I had a package of six in my cart and then I put them back. It wasn’t that they were extremely expensive, but as we have very little sustainable income at this time, the cost seemed to out weigh the need. It is interesting that we think differently now before we go and buy something.
We have never been outrageous spenders and have always followed a budget, so if we needed something we just went and got the item. Now, there is a pause and a look to see if it is a priority. We still go out and eat and other stuff, but not as much as we used to. Okay, back to the story.
So we still didn’t have any light bulbs. Until yesterday. I walk out to get our mail and by our door was the postal worker with two boxes for me from Salem Electric. I asked him if he knew what they were and he said, “light bulbs”. He didn’t know if everybody that has Salem Electric as their provider received these but a lot of residences have. He wasn’t sure why I got two boxes, though, because his other deliveries only received one box.
We got two boxes because we get two electric bills. Our house and our garage are on two separate meters. So we got two boxes of light bulbs. Fourteen to a box. Twenty-eight energy star, low wattage, longer life light bulbs. Each bulb is supposed to be the equivalent of twelve regular bulbs with each lasting up to a year. That is twenty-eight years of light.
Yes, I know that this isn’t a check in the mail to pay our mortgage for the month, but it is a need we had and it was provided. And yes, God had His hand in it. You can tell because of the timing and of the meeting of a specific need. And after all, it was God that said in the first place, “let there be light.”
We have never been outrageous spenders and have always followed a budget, so if we needed something we just went and got the item. Now, there is a pause and a look to see if it is a priority. We still go out and eat and other stuff, but not as much as we used to. Okay, back to the story.
So we still didn’t have any light bulbs. Until yesterday. I walk out to get our mail and by our door was the postal worker with two boxes for me from Salem Electric. I asked him if he knew what they were and he said, “light bulbs”. He didn’t know if everybody that has Salem Electric as their provider received these but a lot of residences have. He wasn’t sure why I got two boxes, though, because his other deliveries only received one box.
We got two boxes because we get two electric bills. Our house and our garage are on two separate meters. So we got two boxes of light bulbs. Fourteen to a box. Twenty-eight energy star, low wattage, longer life light bulbs. Each bulb is supposed to be the equivalent of twelve regular bulbs with each lasting up to a year. That is twenty-eight years of light.
Yes, I know that this isn’t a check in the mail to pay our mortgage for the month, but it is a need we had and it was provided. And yes, God had His hand in it. You can tell because of the timing and of the meeting of a specific need. And after all, it was God that said in the first place, “let there be light.”
Monday, October 18, 2010
Offering
Our church is having some financial issues. But who isn’t? The economy for that past two years has sucked. For just about everybody. Including our church. It has probably been a long time since our church has had struggle in the finances. We have cut as much as we can, but still bills need to be paid and the staff needs to be paid.
The way it works is that the members of the church give an offering or tithe out of their income to support the work and ministry of the church. The amount given is up to the individual. Some give more than others and some give less. It depends upon the income. Many give 10% of their income as an offering to God for the work of the church. It is kind of a standard based on some Old Testament verses. But for the Christian, giving is based not upon a number or a percentage but upon what they have determined to give. And that is based upon what they are impressed by what they feel God would like them to give. Plain and simple.
When I decided to quit my job, because of the four statements, (1. not work at off price retail for a while; 2. spend more time with T. and I.; 3. to pursue a business; 4. trust God for my needs) it was also decided that we would not reduce our giving to the church for as long as we could.
Our income was reduced by 66% but we gave as if it had stayed the same. Until now. When we understood that the church finances were having difficulties and we knew we had some savings set aside; we decided to give “in advance” our offering. One, because we had the money. It was set aside to pay bills when I wasn’t working anymore. And two, the church needed it now.
There is no set time as to when we are to give an offering. Some give weekly, some give monthly, as we were accustomed. So this time we will give yearly. And we will still give from our current income as well. And we will trust God to meet our needs and the needs of our church.
Why give? Because this is our church. This is where we serve. This is where we are being ministered to.
The way it works is that the members of the church give an offering or tithe out of their income to support the work and ministry of the church. The amount given is up to the individual. Some give more than others and some give less. It depends upon the income. Many give 10% of their income as an offering to God for the work of the church. It is kind of a standard based on some Old Testament verses. But for the Christian, giving is based not upon a number or a percentage but upon what they have determined to give. And that is based upon what they are impressed by what they feel God would like them to give. Plain and simple.
When I decided to quit my job, because of the four statements, (1. not work at off price retail for a while; 2. spend more time with T. and I.; 3. to pursue a business; 4. trust God for my needs) it was also decided that we would not reduce our giving to the church for as long as we could.
Our income was reduced by 66% but we gave as if it had stayed the same. Until now. When we understood that the church finances were having difficulties and we knew we had some savings set aside; we decided to give “in advance” our offering. One, because we had the money. It was set aside to pay bills when I wasn’t working anymore. And two, the church needed it now.
There is no set time as to when we are to give an offering. Some give weekly, some give monthly, as we were accustomed. So this time we will give yearly. And we will still give from our current income as well. And we will trust God to meet our needs and the needs of our church.
Why give? Because this is our church. This is where we serve. This is where we are being ministered to.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Physical
So, the other day I had a physical. It was probably the first complete one I have had in about five years. And here is what I know. My blood pressure is just a little bit high; my cholesterol is just a little bit high; my weight is a little bit high. Sigh. None of it is dangerously high, but just on the border of starting to be high. All are fixable. Lose weight, eat right, and exercise.
I waited five days for the other blood test results. This is the big one (PSA). This was the reason I went in and the one that I was most concerned about. So I waited. Five days. And worried a bit. And prayed a lot.
Why, a concern? No, I didn’t seem to have any symptoms that would cause any alarm. But, there is history. Genetic history.
My father was four years older than I am now when he died. His dad, my grandfather, died at about the same age. I never knew him. My brother diagnosed early and is fine. So history, let us just say, is not on my side.
I don’t know how I feel about death. I know I am not a big fan. I would like to day that I am not worried about it, but that is simply not true. I trust in God’s promise that I have eternal life because of my belief in Jesus, his Son. And I know that heaven and being forever in the presence will be far greater than anything I have yet experienced, but I still don’t want to go. At least not yet.
I don’t want to leave my wife and my son. I love them. Meeting T. after L. died made me live again. It made me love again. I want to spend as many days as I can with her and I. I want to see I. grow up and finish school. I want to see his wife.
But I also know that it is not up to me in the long run. It is in, and always have been in, God’s hands. So I waited.
The test came and the results were fine. The number was low and in the acceptable range. Big sigh. And thanks be to God.
Doesn’t mean I won’t ever get cancer. It just means that I don’t have it. Not now anyway. And that is good enough for me.
I waited five days for the other blood test results. This is the big one (PSA). This was the reason I went in and the one that I was most concerned about. So I waited. Five days. And worried a bit. And prayed a lot.
Why, a concern? No, I didn’t seem to have any symptoms that would cause any alarm. But, there is history. Genetic history.
My father was four years older than I am now when he died. His dad, my grandfather, died at about the same age. I never knew him. My brother diagnosed early and is fine. So history, let us just say, is not on my side.
I don’t know how I feel about death. I know I am not a big fan. I would like to day that I am not worried about it, but that is simply not true. I trust in God’s promise that I have eternal life because of my belief in Jesus, his Son. And I know that heaven and being forever in the presence will be far greater than anything I have yet experienced, but I still don’t want to go. At least not yet.
I don’t want to leave my wife and my son. I love them. Meeting T. after L. died made me live again. It made me love again. I want to spend as many days as I can with her and I. I want to see I. grow up and finish school. I want to see his wife.
But I also know that it is not up to me in the long run. It is in, and always have been in, God’s hands. So I waited.
The test came and the results were fine. The number was low and in the acceptable range. Big sigh. And thanks be to God.
Doesn’t mean I won’t ever get cancer. It just means that I don’t have it. Not now anyway. And that is good enough for me.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Bob
My son likes “Bob”. I don’t mean Bob the Builder, Bob Dylan Bob Newhart etc. No, my son likes Bob the Tomato. Bob and his buddy Larry. We own sixteen of their DVD’s. And that doesn’t include the four CD’s of song collections.
He likes “Bob”. And when he wants to see one he simply asks, “Bob”? The other day he slipped and fell and as we were consoling him, he tearfully whimpered “Bob”. Kind of like comfort food in a way. My son likes “Bob”.
And so do I. I’m not going to lie, sometimes I’ve seen too many of them. That is why we now have sixteen, so I can see new ones. But I like them. And here is why.
They teach. And the lessons they teach are good morals, good values, and good relationships. Relationships with one another and with God. And the statement that sums it up is the closing.
“God made you special. And He loves you very much.”
‘Nuff said.
He likes “Bob”. And when he wants to see one he simply asks, “Bob”? The other day he slipped and fell and as we were consoling him, he tearfully whimpered “Bob”. Kind of like comfort food in a way. My son likes “Bob”.
And so do I. I’m not going to lie, sometimes I’ve seen too many of them. That is why we now have sixteen, so I can see new ones. But I like them. And here is why.
They teach. And the lessons they teach are good morals, good values, and good relationships. Relationships with one another and with God. And the statement that sums it up is the closing.
“God made you special. And He loves you very much.”
‘Nuff said.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
New Phase
We seem to be at a new phase in life. Over the weekend our two-year old has now figured out how to get out of his crib and pack-n-play. While this is good news in a sense, it is also sad news.
The good news is that he is growing up and is problem solving. The sad news it that he is growing up and problem solving. And we have lost all but one method of containment. His highchair. And it is just days until it is impractical for him to be in that.
It all started over the weekend. We were at the coast with friends and we put I. in the playpen for his bed. In the morning, we are all up and I. is still sleeping. Or so we thought. Pretty soon, he is down the stairs with his familiar “hi”. And so it begins.
Naptime that day involved us putting him in the playpen about eight times before he thought it best to nap.
That night, we put I. to bed in the playpen, which was in our room, and we locked the bedroom door in case he got out. We figured that if he did climb out at least he would stay in the room.
About six in the morning as T. was sleeping, she felt a little breath in her face. As she opened her eyes from a dead sleep, there was I. standing next to her with his face one inch from hers. T. screamed the startled scream and I. giggled and said “hi”. T.’s scream woke me up abruptly. And so it continues.
That evening at home we put I. in his crib and assumed he couldn’t get out of it yet, as it is taller than the playpen. In the morning I gave him a couple of books to read so I could take a shower. I went into the laundry room to grab some clean clothes and as I turned around, there he was “just a walkin’ down the street, er. hall, singin’ “do wa diddy” Okay, he wasn’t singing. But he did say “hi”.
The good news is that he is growing up and is problem solving. The sad news it that he is growing up and problem solving. And we have lost all but one method of containment. His highchair. And it is just days until it is impractical for him to be in that.
It all started over the weekend. We were at the coast with friends and we put I. in the playpen for his bed. In the morning, we are all up and I. is still sleeping. Or so we thought. Pretty soon, he is down the stairs with his familiar “hi”. And so it begins.
Naptime that day involved us putting him in the playpen about eight times before he thought it best to nap.
That night, we put I. to bed in the playpen, which was in our room, and we locked the bedroom door in case he got out. We figured that if he did climb out at least he would stay in the room.
About six in the morning as T. was sleeping, she felt a little breath in her face. As she opened her eyes from a dead sleep, there was I. standing next to her with his face one inch from hers. T. screamed the startled scream and I. giggled and said “hi”. T.’s scream woke me up abruptly. And so it continues.
That evening at home we put I. in his crib and assumed he couldn’t get out of it yet, as it is taller than the playpen. In the morning I gave him a couple of books to read so I could take a shower. I went into the laundry room to grab some clean clothes and as I turned around, there he was “just a walkin’ down the street, er. hall, singin’ “do wa diddy” Okay, he wasn’t singing. But he did say “hi”.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
What they think
You are what people think you are. I am afraid that is true. No matter how much I tell myself differently, my opinion of me is based upon what other people think I am. Same goes for you. If they say you’re fat, you feel fat. If they say your stupid, you feel stupid. If they think you are a loser, you feel like a loser. He’s weird, then you feel weird. But why listen to them when you can listen to Him.
“But you are a chosen people. You are the king’s priests. You are a holy nation. You are a nation that belongs to God alone. God chose you to tell about the wonderful things He has done. He called you out of the darkness and into His wonderful light. At one time you were not God’s people. But now you are His people. In the past you have never received mercy. But now you have received God’s mercy.” 1 Peter 2.
Why listen to them when you can listen to Him!
“But you are a chosen people. You are the king’s priests. You are a holy nation. You are a nation that belongs to God alone. God chose you to tell about the wonderful things He has done. He called you out of the darkness and into His wonderful light. At one time you were not God’s people. But now you are His people. In the past you have never received mercy. But now you have received God’s mercy.” 1 Peter 2.
Why listen to them when you can listen to Him!
Useful
I am competent.
It is difficult when people, either knowingly or out of not thinking through ones words, make you feel otherwise. Some people are energized when that approach is used. TV shows like “Hell’s Kitchen” or “The Apprentice” utilize that tactic. The idea is that you will rise to the occasion after a verbal thrashing occurs. For some it works, I suppose. Making one feel incompetent will charge them to action and success. For me, it is as if you have pierced my balloon skin and I am deflating. And it leaves you feeling that that you are not only incompetent, but also useless.
That is what happened the other day.
Being a believer means that you are useful. 1 Peter 2 says that we were chosen in order to “tell about the wonderful things God has done”.
There are several ways the enemy tries to thwart that.
1. Isolation. One of the great traps is to some how isolate believers from other believers. The church, or “body of believers”, is design for gathering. Large groups, small groups, groups of two, but gather. When isolation occurs, we begin to think that we are the only ones struggling, the only ones who don’t understand, the only ones who care. We feel like an outsider. Sometimes even in a large crowd. Isolation will take us down a road where our usefulness is stifled by self-guilt, self-doubt, and selfishness.
2. Incompetence. “You are not good enough.” “You don’t smart enough.” Growing up, it seemed like I was always the smallest. Not always picked because I appeared to be incompetent.
But yes, I was good at baseball. Yes, I could grab the basketball rim (10ft). Yes, I could throw a tightly spiraled football 40 yards. Yes, I could run the 100 yard dash in a little over 10 seconds. Yes, I could kick the top of a doorjam (6ft 8 inches). Yes, I could bowl. (177 average) Yes, I can teach. Yes, I can preach. Yes, I can write. Yes, I can take good photographs.
And yet, all it takes is one little dent in the armor and we become incapable. Because we felt we were looked upon as incompetent.
3. Ignorance. Ignorance is the feeling that you don’t know enough or you are not smart enough. And because of that, you need to be quiet. You don’t know how to lead a study. You don’t know how to speak. You don’t know how to share your faith. You won’t have the right answers.
But you are useful! You are not alone! You are capable! You know the truth!
It is difficult when people, either knowingly or out of not thinking through ones words, make you feel otherwise. Some people are energized when that approach is used. TV shows like “Hell’s Kitchen” or “The Apprentice” utilize that tactic. The idea is that you will rise to the occasion after a verbal thrashing occurs. For some it works, I suppose. Making one feel incompetent will charge them to action and success. For me, it is as if you have pierced my balloon skin and I am deflating. And it leaves you feeling that that you are not only incompetent, but also useless.
That is what happened the other day.
Being a believer means that you are useful. 1 Peter 2 says that we were chosen in order to “tell about the wonderful things God has done”.
There are several ways the enemy tries to thwart that.
1. Isolation. One of the great traps is to some how isolate believers from other believers. The church, or “body of believers”, is design for gathering. Large groups, small groups, groups of two, but gather. When isolation occurs, we begin to think that we are the only ones struggling, the only ones who don’t understand, the only ones who care. We feel like an outsider. Sometimes even in a large crowd. Isolation will take us down a road where our usefulness is stifled by self-guilt, self-doubt, and selfishness.
2. Incompetence. “You are not good enough.” “You don’t smart enough.” Growing up, it seemed like I was always the smallest. Not always picked because I appeared to be incompetent.
But yes, I was good at baseball. Yes, I could grab the basketball rim (10ft). Yes, I could throw a tightly spiraled football 40 yards. Yes, I could run the 100 yard dash in a little over 10 seconds. Yes, I could kick the top of a doorjam (6ft 8 inches). Yes, I could bowl. (177 average) Yes, I can teach. Yes, I can preach. Yes, I can write. Yes, I can take good photographs.
And yet, all it takes is one little dent in the armor and we become incapable. Because we felt we were looked upon as incompetent.
3. Ignorance. Ignorance is the feeling that you don’t know enough or you are not smart enough. And because of that, you need to be quiet. You don’t know how to lead a study. You don’t know how to speak. You don’t know how to share your faith. You won’t have the right answers.
But you are useful! You are not alone! You are capable! You know the truth!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Group
We had our small group meeting this week. Not only was it enjoyable, it is very encouraging to know that we all could share and discuss things and not feel like anybody was thinking bad or judging us.
We all have different stories. Some of us have gone to church all of our lives and became believers at an early age. Others of us weren’t raised in that atmosphere and became believers as teens or adults. And yet, through those differences we come together for one purpose. And that is to love one another and to grow in faith.
It was a good night.
We all have different stories. Some of us have gone to church all of our lives and became believers at an early age. Others of us weren’t raised in that atmosphere and became believers as teens or adults. And yet, through those differences we come together for one purpose. And that is to love one another and to grow in faith.
It was a good night.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Falling into fall
As fall sets in, I am realizing that it has been two months since I quit my job. I would like to be able to report that it has been amazingly successful with wondrous events that have occurred. That simply is not the case. It has been good. Just a little different.
I knew that it wouldn’t solve all of the issues and I knew I wouldn’t be all roses and rainbows. It is just a little different than I have thought.
I do not regret leaving off-price retail. It is a strange creature. Very unique and unlike department store retail. And there are challenges in being management. You are to manage the store, product, policies, associates, and customers in a smooth fashion. The challenge lies in never having enough payroll, corporate making constant changes, and the pressures of not only turning a profit but a good profit.
It has been good to have some time off. I enjoy I. and we seem to be doing okay. It is nice to see the growing up side of childhood. I missed out on the day-to-day last go around. I love seeing him soak in knowledge and experiences and then process it into life skills.
I am still behind on my self-made schedule as far as the photo website and pursuing the photography business. But it is proceeding. This week I am going through all of my notes and thoughts and finalize pricing and marketing strategy.
It looks like October will be the first month we will have to use some savings to pay the bills. It is a weird feeling and a little scary, but originally I had thought we would have tapped into that area in August. So I guess we are ahead in that sense.
I knew that it wouldn’t solve all of the issues and I knew I wouldn’t be all roses and rainbows. It is just a little different than I have thought.
I do not regret leaving off-price retail. It is a strange creature. Very unique and unlike department store retail. And there are challenges in being management. You are to manage the store, product, policies, associates, and customers in a smooth fashion. The challenge lies in never having enough payroll, corporate making constant changes, and the pressures of not only turning a profit but a good profit.
It has been good to have some time off. I enjoy I. and we seem to be doing okay. It is nice to see the growing up side of childhood. I missed out on the day-to-day last go around. I love seeing him soak in knowledge and experiences and then process it into life skills.
I am still behind on my self-made schedule as far as the photo website and pursuing the photography business. But it is proceeding. This week I am going through all of my notes and thoughts and finalize pricing and marketing strategy.
It looks like October will be the first month we will have to use some savings to pay the bills. It is a weird feeling and a little scary, but originally I had thought we would have tapped into that area in August. So I guess we are ahead in that sense.
Monday, September 13, 2010
“This is my morning the best as I can remember it”
Series of events from 9:00am to 9:30 am.
9:00 am So, I am up and checking out the computer and I hear the I. has woken up and appears to be playing and talking in his crib. This is a frequent occurrence so I just let him be. Normal morning.
As I go into his room, I am greeted by the all to familiar odor that diapered toddlers have. Looking into his crib, I noticed that he has burrowed himself in between the mattress and his bottom sheet. He took with him his bear and blanket.
“How cute”, I thought, “he has a little fortress”. I proceeded to take some pictures to document this event. As he finds his way out of the sheets there was confirmation that he definitely needed a change as the stale smell of toddler pee re-filled the room.
As I unzip his green-blue footed pajamas that are too small for him and this was to be the last time he would wear them before they went into retirement, I notice that there are small rice like particle on his chest and stomach. I didn’t recall having rice recently. As I continue to unzip him, I realize one side of his diaper is undone and there are more of this substance all over him and in clumps. Apparently not only did his diaper come undone, the little beady things that soak up wetness in a diaper have escaped. There was a tear, and these, full to the limit, beads were congregating his stomach and down into the legs of his pajamas.
I take his pajamas off and walk him to the bathroom where we will have a morning bath. As I turn the water on in the tub, I glance and my little naked I. standing in the bathroom starts to go potty. Thinking quickly, I determine there is no time like the present to start potty training. So I move him in front of the, lift the bowl, and tell him to go potty in there. I turn to check the warmth and the level of the bath and suddenly realized that the height of the toilet bowl and the height of my boy’s area are a few inches different.
As I notice the puddle in front of the toilet bowl I also notice that my kneeling position to check the bathtub level has left my right foot and right pajama leg (mine are without footies) vulnerable and are currently getting soaked from said puddle.
Placed I. in the tub, wiped up the puddle, wiped my foot off, changed pajamas, and gave I. a quick bath. And we still had time to watch the last half hour of Sesame Street. 9;30am. Now I shower.
9:00 am So, I am up and checking out the computer and I hear the I. has woken up and appears to be playing and talking in his crib. This is a frequent occurrence so I just let him be. Normal morning.
As I go into his room, I am greeted by the all to familiar odor that diapered toddlers have. Looking into his crib, I noticed that he has burrowed himself in between the mattress and his bottom sheet. He took with him his bear and blanket.
“How cute”, I thought, “he has a little fortress”. I proceeded to take some pictures to document this event. As he finds his way out of the sheets there was confirmation that he definitely needed a change as the stale smell of toddler pee re-filled the room.
As I unzip his green-blue footed pajamas that are too small for him and this was to be the last time he would wear them before they went into retirement, I notice that there are small rice like particle on his chest and stomach. I didn’t recall having rice recently. As I continue to unzip him, I realize one side of his diaper is undone and there are more of this substance all over him and in clumps. Apparently not only did his diaper come undone, the little beady things that soak up wetness in a diaper have escaped. There was a tear, and these, full to the limit, beads were congregating his stomach and down into the legs of his pajamas.
I take his pajamas off and walk him to the bathroom where we will have a morning bath. As I turn the water on in the tub, I glance and my little naked I. standing in the bathroom starts to go potty. Thinking quickly, I determine there is no time like the present to start potty training. So I move him in front of the, lift the bowl, and tell him to go potty in there. I turn to check the warmth and the level of the bath and suddenly realized that the height of the toilet bowl and the height of my boy’s area are a few inches different.
As I notice the puddle in front of the toilet bowl I also notice that my kneeling position to check the bathtub level has left my right foot and right pajama leg (mine are without footies) vulnerable and are currently getting soaked from said puddle.
Placed I. in the tub, wiped up the puddle, wiped my foot off, changed pajamas, and gave I. a quick bath. And we still had time to watch the last half hour of Sesame Street. 9;30am. Now I shower.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Rats!
We have rats! Okay, maybe rat and mice. Or just mice, but there is a really big one. They use our back fences as an interstate.
T. saw this big one a couple of times before I got to notice it. I then proceeded to set out a trap. Because there are two dogs on the other side of the fence next to us and there are many birds that like to flock to the grapevines, it was decided that D-con was not an option. So we went with the old fashioned type of traps.
The first catch was not the big guy. It was a smaller mouse. That is why we knew we were dealing with a “pack”. Or is it “herd”? Let’s just say a “bunch”. So, after three more mice, I was attempting to reset a sprung trap and place it onto the fence top when I jiggled it and caught my thumb in the trap. Yes, it hurt.
To add insult to injury, after the trap was reset, a mouse just walked right over it and nothing happened. It was then that I decided that we are dealing with extra-intelligent mutant type of mice. They live in a wooden shed that is on the neighbors’ side. The one with the big dogs so there is plenty of half eaten dog food for them to enjoy.
I now set up four traps all in a row because, of course, this is now war. The next morning as I was assessing the battlefield, I noticed that there were only three traps. To this day, I have not been able to locate the fourth trap.
Might have to rethink my strategy.
T. saw this big one a couple of times before I got to notice it. I then proceeded to set out a trap. Because there are two dogs on the other side of the fence next to us and there are many birds that like to flock to the grapevines, it was decided that D-con was not an option. So we went with the old fashioned type of traps.
To add insult to injury, after the trap was reset, a mouse just walked right over it and nothing happened. It was then that I decided that we are dealing with extra-intelligent mutant type of mice. They live in a wooden shed that is on the neighbors’ side. The one with the big dogs so there is plenty of half eaten dog food for them to enjoy.
I now set up four traps all in a row because, of course, this is now war. The next morning as I was assessing the battlefield, I noticed that there were only three traps. To this day, I have not been able to locate the fourth trap.
Might have to rethink my strategy.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Guest room
It had an ugly 70’s indoor-outdoor brown and orange carpet that was quite stained. I removed that in 2006 and put Kilz primer on the floor. And there it sat and became a giant catch-all room.
The walls are a six-inch wide wood panel that had so many scratches, scrapes, and nails in it that we thought best to putty the holes and paint over instead of sanding. So we puttied, primed, and painted the walls. We used a yellow cream for the walls and white for the trim and shelves. A rock vinyl tile floor we installed and painted the ceiling. We put a new ceiling light and the decorated in an ocean theme. The books are novels, travel books, poetry, and game books. We are hoping it gives a rest and relaxing ambiance.
It has a definite Cape Cod or east coast feel to the room and it s very inviting.
Those who helped: (my brother in law, my daughter in law, my son in law, my wife in. . . err, I mean my wife, and me)
Now for guests.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Small Provision
So I know that it is a small thing, yet it is significant to me. I had done seven photographs for a friend to put up in his new office. It was a patriotic theme. Kind of pro bono work for some free advertisement as such. My friend, for his appreciation, gave me a gift card. I did not ask for it or expect it, but the gesture made me feel good. In a small way, it was provision. Thanks.
Monday, August 30, 2010
On the Ledge
So, here I stand on the ledge thinking, “should I step off?”or sound the cowardly retreat. Again. I am a great dreamer. I am a great planner. I am not, however, a great executer. I just don’t take risks. Yes, I know that years ago my family and I sold everything we owned and moved believing God was leading us to another area. He provided and here I stand.
I know that after L. died, I took 15 months off from working to discover me. And God brought me face to face with the love of my life, my precious T. He provided and here I stand.
So, a month into this new phase of living by trust, I wonder. Will He provide as He says He will? I do not doubt that He can, I doubt whether He will. Even after all of the other times in my life that He has came through. I have never doubted Him and in His ability, I usually doubt that He will do it for me. And here is why.
I came into a relationship with Him through grace. An adult sinner, who had no desire to fully know Him. But I took Him at His word and believed. Therefore I am saved. Forever. When I die, I enter His presence. Forever. Not because of anything I have done, but simply because He promised eternal life and forgiveness of sin by believing. I believed.
I often feel that I “made it” because of a spiritual loophole and now He is bound to allow me full access into the holy. All because I believed. It certainly isn’t because of the holy life I live. No, far from it. I have a difficult time living the godly life I am supposed to.
But He promised, and I believed, so here I stand.
I know that after L. died, I took 15 months off from working to discover me. And God brought me face to face with the love of my life, my precious T. He provided and here I stand.
So, a month into this new phase of living by trust, I wonder. Will He provide as He says He will? I do not doubt that He can, I doubt whether He will. Even after all of the other times in my life that He has came through. I have never doubted Him and in His ability, I usually doubt that He will do it for me. And here is why.
I came into a relationship with Him through grace. An adult sinner, who had no desire to fully know Him. But I took Him at His word and believed. Therefore I am saved. Forever. When I die, I enter His presence. Forever. Not because of anything I have done, but simply because He promised eternal life and forgiveness of sin by believing. I believed.
I often feel that I “made it” because of a spiritual loophole and now He is bound to allow me full access into the holy. All because I believed. It certainly isn’t because of the holy life I live. No, far from it. I have a difficult time living the godly life I am supposed to.
But He promised, and I believed, so here I stand.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Time is on my side
So, this is officially one month since I quit my job. I had really expected to have more done than this. There isn’t as much time as it appears. With a two year old, you have to schedule your time and agenda around theirs. After he wakes up and has breakfast, there is a little playtime.
So you get some dishes done, try to get caught up on emails and see what is happening to the outside world. This is done by checking local and national news on the computer as Sesame Street is telling my all about the letter G and the number 12. That Elmo is so silly. Anyway, then we check Facebook and check up on all who are not feeling well or has a little comment or a like.
When it is his naptime, you realize you have a two-hour window of time to accomplish your eight-hour list. What to do? Do I edit some photography? Do I blog? Do I take some pictures? Do I do laundry? Do I work on the guest room? Do I shower? Do I take a nap? Do I get caught up in Rachel Ray or see what Regis is yelling about?
By that time, the little one is up and we settle in on having a great lunch of either a sandwich, chicken cookies and some sort of fruit. And before you know it, the clock says 3pm. And where did the time go?
It appears that routine still requires a certain amount of planning and determination in order to have a sense of accomplishment. I’ll try harder, tomorrow.
So you get some dishes done, try to get caught up on emails and see what is happening to the outside world. This is done by checking local and national news on the computer as Sesame Street is telling my all about the letter G and the number 12. That Elmo is so silly. Anyway, then we check Facebook and check up on all who are not feeling well or has a little comment or a like.
When it is his naptime, you realize you have a two-hour window of time to accomplish your eight-hour list. What to do? Do I edit some photography? Do I blog? Do I take some pictures? Do I do laundry? Do I work on the guest room? Do I shower? Do I take a nap? Do I get caught up in Rachel Ray or see what Regis is yelling about?
By that time, the little one is up and we settle in on having a great lunch of either a sandwich, chicken cookies and some sort of fruit. And before you know it, the clock says 3pm. And where did the time go?
It appears that routine still requires a certain amount of planning and determination in order to have a sense of accomplishment. I’ll try harder, tomorrow.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Page 36
I am on page 36 of the book that I am reading about the life of George Mueller. I have been on page 36 for a while. Page 36 is marked by a red card.
I. will come along (in his two year old willingness to help) and pull the red bookmark out and hand me the markless book and say “der you go”. I then have to scroll through the pages until I find where I have left off. After several repeats of this action, I have memorized the page I am on. 36. Perhaps, I should read more.
The dilemma
So here is my dilemma, If I am going to trust God for my needs and if I am going to depend upon Him and Him alone to supply those needs, and if I will not ask man for those needs, how then, am I going to let you know about my journey of trust and dependence?
If I say beforehand, "here is my need", then perhaps someone will meet that need. If I say nothing and just respond after the fact that God has met my need, how am I to be believed. Some may say, "it is made up" or I have invented a need in order to have it met.
So, I guess I will announce that I have a need but not share the specifics of that need and then share the results.
I am finding it difficult to trust. It is quite easy to proclaim that I trust in Him and will depend upon Him. It is hard to do the actual trusting.
The fears that I have in this endeavor are quite simple. How are we going to make it? What happens when the money runs out? Our budget cannot be cut any more. Did I do a smart thing?
And all of these things are the very things that God said is His responsibility. I am supposed to seek His Kingdom and righteousness. He will provide the other. Provide O Lord, provide.
If I say beforehand, "here is my need", then perhaps someone will meet that need. If I say nothing and just respond after the fact that God has met my need, how am I to be believed. Some may say, "it is made up" or I have invented a need in order to have it met.
So, I guess I will announce that I have a need but not share the specifics of that need and then share the results.
I am finding it difficult to trust. It is quite easy to proclaim that I trust in Him and will depend upon Him. It is hard to do the actual trusting.
The fears that I have in this endeavor are quite simple. How are we going to make it? What happens when the money runs out? Our budget cannot be cut any more. Did I do a smart thing?
And all of these things are the very things that God said is His responsibility. I am supposed to seek His Kingdom and righteousness. He will provide the other. Provide O Lord, provide.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Three weeks in
So, it has been just a little over three weeks since we radically changed our schedules. I quit my job to pursue four things. (Not be in off-price retail for a while; spend more time with T. and I.; try to start my own business; and to truly depend upon God for needs).
So far, we have not gotten into a good routine as T.’s work has been a little different with her second week of work she had a three day work retreat. This week, her Monday schedule was different and on Tuesday the university had an inservice day. I am hoping that once her routine gets settled, mine will as well.
I’ve learned that even though the hours are there, one doesn’t have as much time compared to the hours given. A person doesn’t get a lengthy stretch of time to accomplish things. Rather, you get snippets of time in between I.’s schedule of changing clothes, breakfast, playing, napping, changing clothes, Sesame Street.
I am behind my own schedule of the web site, the consistency of blogging, finishing the bedroom, and photos. The hot weather hasn’t helped either, but it looks like we are on a cooling trend.
There have also been a lot of events that we have attended in these past three weeks
1) A three-day trip to Hood River.
2) Helped my son load the moving truck for Kansas
3) Three park/picnic events
4) Painting the spare bedroom
5) Game night with friends
6) Three day work retreat in Sisters for T.
7) Birthday party
8) T.s work inservice
9) Juiced apples from our apple trees
Coming up this week
1) an after camp youth campfire at our house. (we will work on setting that up this week as well)
2) Saturday funeral for a good friend
3) A Sunday evening fellowship with our small group
4) Finish printing out a photo them for a friend’s office
So, I am adjusting the timeline ahead for two weeks. Hopefully that will be enough to get set up.
So far, we have not gotten into a good routine as T.’s work has been a little different with her second week of work she had a three day work retreat. This week, her Monday schedule was different and on Tuesday the university had an inservice day. I am hoping that once her routine gets settled, mine will as well.
I’ve learned that even though the hours are there, one doesn’t have as much time compared to the hours given. A person doesn’t get a lengthy stretch of time to accomplish things. Rather, you get snippets of time in between I.’s schedule of changing clothes, breakfast, playing, napping, changing clothes, Sesame Street.
I am behind my own schedule of the web site, the consistency of blogging, finishing the bedroom, and photos. The hot weather hasn’t helped either, but it looks like we are on a cooling trend.
There have also been a lot of events that we have attended in these past three weeks
1) A three-day trip to Hood River.
2) Helped my son load the moving truck for Kansas
3) Three park/picnic events
4) Painting the spare bedroom
5) Game night with friends
6) Three day work retreat in Sisters for T.
7) Birthday party
8) T.s work inservice
9) Juiced apples from our apple trees
Coming up this week
1) an after camp youth campfire at our house. (we will work on setting that up this week as well)
2) Saturday funeral for a good friend
3) A Sunday evening fellowship with our small group
4) Finish printing out a photo them for a friend’s office
So, I am adjusting the timeline ahead for two weeks. Hopefully that will be enough to get set up.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Out of town
Spent two days in Sister as T. had a work retreat there. Very peaceful place. You go outside and see mountains and just out our motel, there were deer running around. While T. was at her retreat I. and I just hung out, did a little shopping and ate Asian food. He was very good but didn't take any naps. He kind of wore me out.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Two weeks in
So, it has been two weeks since I quit my job to pursue the “four” purposes. 1) to take a break from off-price retail; 2) to spend more time with T. and I.; 3) to work on my own business; and 4) to trust God for our needs.
It has been strange as we try to adjust to our new schedules. For me, it is not getting up for work or coming home late when I would close. For T. it is getting up for her part-time job at the University. She works five hours a day four days a week. (Mon.-Thur.)
These past two weeks, for me, just seems like an extended vacation in the sense of not having work and thoughts of work. My paychecks and vacation time paid for this month. There will be no more money coming in from outside of savings until T. gets paid. Our incoming revenue has decreased by 75%. But there is some set-aside in savings and then we will just go from there.
We all get up at seven. T. gets ready for work and I. has some breakfast and his morning “soaps” (Super Why, Sesame Street, and Clifford). I get T. her breakfast and get T. out the door. Then, in between being with I. and stuff around the house, I am trying to finish the guest room and get pictures ready for the web page. And journal of course.
Began reading again a biography about George Mueller. After all, he is the one who gave a bit of inspiration about trusting God for needs and not asking man for help. If man provided, so be it, but he would not solicit from anyone but God.
It has been strange as we try to adjust to our new schedules. For me, it is not getting up for work or coming home late when I would close. For T. it is getting up for her part-time job at the University. She works five hours a day four days a week. (Mon.-Thur.)
These past two weeks, for me, just seems like an extended vacation in the sense of not having work and thoughts of work. My paychecks and vacation time paid for this month. There will be no more money coming in from outside of savings until T. gets paid. Our incoming revenue has decreased by 75%. But there is some set-aside in savings and then we will just go from there.
We all get up at seven. T. gets ready for work and I. has some breakfast and his morning “soaps” (Super Why, Sesame Street, and Clifford). I get T. her breakfast and get T. out the door. Then, in between being with I. and stuff around the house, I am trying to finish the guest room and get pictures ready for the web page. And journal of course.
Began reading again a biography about George Mueller. After all, he is the one who gave a bit of inspiration about trusting God for needs and not asking man for help. If man provided, so be it, but he would not solicit from anyone but God.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Trust part 2
Your mind can go in different directions at a time. Sometimes, that is a good thing. And sometimes, it can mess you up.
There is plenty to do around here. The trouble lies in the doing. I. wakes up about the same time T. leaves. He has his breakfast and his “Sesame Street”. We spend a little time playing and learning the letters. He knows all of them, but once in a while needs a little assistance. Then it is nap time for him.
So when he is down do I a) finish the guest room; b) work on the photographs; c) juice some apples; d) do other various and sundry things?
My time line for things. Hopefully my business venture will begin to show signs of progress by March of 2011. If not, I will need to start the process of other income possibilities. By September of 2011, there will need to be serious movement toward work and attempting to pay the bills.
I am hoping that we can, in our current situation, make it for 18 months. That will be very difficult and will require smart financial budget on our part.
It is hard to trust.
There is plenty to do around here. The trouble lies in the doing. I. wakes up about the same time T. leaves. He has his breakfast and his “Sesame Street”. We spend a little time playing and learning the letters. He knows all of them, but once in a while needs a little assistance. Then it is nap time for him.
So when he is down do I a) finish the guest room; b) work on the photographs; c) juice some apples; d) do other various and sundry things?
My time line for things. Hopefully my business venture will begin to show signs of progress by March of 2011. If not, I will need to start the process of other income possibilities. By September of 2011, there will need to be serious movement toward work and attempting to pay the bills.
I am hoping that we can, in our current situation, make it for 18 months. That will be very difficult and will require smart financial budget on our part.
It is hard to trust.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Trying to settle
We are all settling into our new lives. T. has a part-time job at the University working for the music department. She knows a lot of people there and it gives her opportunity to have conversations of full sentences. Life with a two year old is somewhat limiting in the brain stimulation process. One does pick up valuable nuggets of information though, like “nose”, “ball” and to occasional “bwerthfrctycl”. I will say that I. does have sentence structure; it just loses something in the translation.
For me, being home was to open up plenty of time to accomplish all that I wanted to do or to get done. First official day did not turn out that way. But today I am hopeful. I need to finish up the guest room. That will certainly give us a sense of completion.
There is still a sensation of floating through life now. I understand that I need to develop the routine that is most helpful. I like routine. I do not like ruts. I need to keep my planner by my side and take opportunity of events and places that will give me a chance to display and possibly sell my art. Unemployed yes, but still working. Just starting from scratch.
For me, being home was to open up plenty of time to accomplish all that I wanted to do or to get done. First official day did not turn out that way. But today I am hopeful. I need to finish up the guest room. That will certainly give us a sense of completion.
There is still a sensation of floating through life now. I understand that I need to develop the routine that is most helpful. I like routine. I do not like ruts. I need to keep my planner by my side and take opportunity of events and places that will give me a chance to display and possibly sell my art. Unemployed yes, but still working. Just starting from scratch.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Death and stuff
Went to a memorial picnic yesterday for Z. He was a 16-year-old youth in our church that died three years ago. Brought back a lot of emotion both good and sad.
I have been “personally” touch by death four times. One was Z. He was part of our church youth group. Got to know him well. One was my dad who died 25 years ago. My mom who died June of this year. And L., my wife of twenty-four years, who died unexpectantly 6 years ago.
All of them, as expected, affected me in different ways. But they have brought me to the conclusion that one must spend as much time as one can with those you love.
After L. died, I never thought that I ever would or even could love again. I was surprised and honored that T. came into my life. Even when I was not looking for love, love did indeed find me. It has been a joy for these almost four years to be hers.
So when I. was born and the emergency surgery and just about losing both T. and I., there again is the driving motivation for spending as much time as I can with them.
That is certainly part of the reason I have quit my job. They say that you spend more time at work than with your family. I did not want that to be the case for me. At least for a while.
I have been “personally” touch by death four times. One was Z. He was part of our church youth group. Got to know him well. One was my dad who died 25 years ago. My mom who died June of this year. And L., my wife of twenty-four years, who died unexpectantly 6 years ago.
All of them, as expected, affected me in different ways. But they have brought me to the conclusion that one must spend as much time as one can with those you love.
After L. died, I never thought that I ever would or even could love again. I was surprised and honored that T. came into my life. Even when I was not looking for love, love did indeed find me. It has been a joy for these almost four years to be hers.
So when I. was born and the emergency surgery and just about losing both T. and I., there again is the driving motivation for spending as much time as I can with them.
That is certainly part of the reason I have quit my job. They say that you spend more time at work than with your family. I did not want that to be the case for me. At least for a while.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Congratulations
I am finding it very interesting and encouraging by all of the comments I have been getting as friends find out that I have quit my job. An overwhelming majority of them are congratulating me and seem excited to see what is going to happen. Unless they are only saying that to me but are in actuality are thinking otherwise. But most seem genuinely sincere. There are a couple of them who think it wasn’t so smart.
But from my Christian friends, there seems to be an optimistic hope to see how God will provide as I pursue my search for the elusive dream and trust God to provide. We Christians are a people of hope and somehow know or expect God to come through in all of the situations and circumstances of our lives. We believe that God is good.
I only hope that I may continue to be one of those optimistic and hopefuls souls. One week into the journey and I am still walking.
But from my Christian friends, there seems to be an optimistic hope to see how God will provide as I pursue my search for the elusive dream and trust God to provide. We Christians are a people of hope and somehow know or expect God to come through in all of the situations and circumstances of our lives. We believe that God is good.
I only hope that I may continue to be one of those optimistic and hopefuls souls. One week into the journey and I am still walking.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
The Destination
Helped M. and S. load their rental truck, as they are moving in the morning. S. is going for his PhD in the field of biology at Kansas State University. They will be there five years. Earlier this month, J. and M. moved back to Indiana after only being here a year. This is what happens when your kids grow up.
Having faith is setting out on your destination. You know the beginning and the ending but the middle, or journey, is where you have to trust. It has been one week since I quit my job and I sense that each day I am going to have to be determined to head to my end result and yet trust that God will direct and reveal that which I need.
Working on the guest room. It is now three quarters painted. Still have some wall and trim to paint and the tile to be laid. Still working on the studio. I will be editing and posting more photographs here and on my website soon.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Trust
We took a couple of days off and went to Hood River. It was very pretty, but didn’t turn out as we had expected. Instead of an adventurous time, I think we needed a relaxed time. He weather was hot and T. was not feeling well. Took some shot of those sailing and of the mountains.
So, part of this journey is about faith and trust. Some have said that I must have great faith to quit my job and trust God for my needs. On the contrary, my faith is quite small. That is why I felt the need to do this. If faith the size of a mustard seed can move a mountain, as Jesus said, then I don’t believe that has happened in my life.
I have thanked God for providing me my jobs, so I in turn can provide for my family. Thanked Him for His provision, but I don’t think I have ever trusted Him to provide. So here I go. Trust God, seek my passion, be a good husband and father, relax.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Morning
It is a strange feeling to wake up and to have no agenda for the day. This is my second official day of my job cessation, and I believe my wife and I are a little ferhoodled.
Formally, all of the plans we made would have to be first okayed by my work schedule. Did I work in the morning or did I do a closing shift? How many days until my next day off?
Today, I just woke up. It was nine. Felt kind of lost for a moment. I guess that is what is meant by “without a vision, the people perish”. So it appears that there is a need to have some sort of defined objective for the day. I guess everybody needs some kind of motivation. Even at a job you hate, at the very least your motivation is to just make it through so you can go home.
Everything is getting lined up so I can start pursuing photography. We are remodeling, well painting and flooring, the spare room so we can use it for a guest room. That is going to free up the other room so it can “officially” become the studio and office.
After that, photographs.
Formally, all of the plans we made would have to be first okayed by my work schedule. Did I work in the morning or did I do a closing shift? How many days until my next day off?
Today, I just woke up. It was nine. Felt kind of lost for a moment. I guess that is what is meant by “without a vision, the people perish”. So it appears that there is a need to have some sort of defined objective for the day. I guess everybody needs some kind of motivation. Even at a job you hate, at the very least your motivation is to just make it through so you can go home.
Everything is getting lined up so I can start pursuing photography. We are remodeling, well painting and flooring, the spare room so we can use it for a guest room. That is going to free up the other room so it can “officially” become the studio and office.
After that, photographs.
Friday, July 23, 2010
The day
I quit my job.
Not the brightest thing to do in this troubled economy. Don’t have any prospects. Have a little in savings. So, why would I do such a thing? Four factors.
One, I needed a break from off-price retail. I’ve done it for many years and just need to get away from being middle management for a while.
Two, I really want to spend as much time as I can with my wife and son. Being older than her, I want to cherish each moment I can before it is gone. Never know when it ends.
Three, I really want to work for myself. Start a business. For now I will be focusing upon my photography. Attempting to sell my photographs and taking portraits. I am not a great photographer, but I’m ogood at it and I like doing it. Focsing on it will give me experience. I’ve always wanted to try my own work but have been too afraid. I determined I would rather fail trying than always wonder what I could have been.
And four, I have been quite convicted about trusting God enough to allow Him to provide. We are to seek his kingdom and righteousness and He says He will provide. George Mueller didn’t ask anyone for anything, but rather prayed and trusted.
So there you have it. It is my attempt to live out what I say I believe and to search for the elusive dream of satisfaction in God. I don’t want to be too busy or too tired to hear the promptings of service for God. So why did I feel like I had to quit? Apparently I am not at all a multi-tasker. Couldn’t to a part-time business while working full-time at TJ. It is far easier to cross the street than to have to face loving my neighbor. I want to be the Samaritan who took notice. Perhaps in the end, God doesn’t want us to multi-task. He just wants us to seek Him.
I will be journaling my progress, or regress as it may be on the blog. I quit my job. Now off I go.
Not the brightest thing to do in this troubled economy. Don’t have any prospects. Have a little in savings. So, why would I do such a thing? Four factors.
One, I needed a break from off-price retail. I’ve done it for many years and just need to get away from being middle management for a while.
Two, I really want to spend as much time as I can with my wife and son. Being older than her, I want to cherish each moment I can before it is gone. Never know when it ends.
Three, I really want to work for myself. Start a business. For now I will be focusing upon my photography. Attempting to sell my photographs and taking portraits. I am not a great photographer, but I’m ogood at it and I like doing it. Focsing on it will give me experience. I’ve always wanted to try my own work but have been too afraid. I determined I would rather fail trying than always wonder what I could have been.
And four, I have been quite convicted about trusting God enough to allow Him to provide. We are to seek his kingdom and righteousness and He says He will provide. George Mueller didn’t ask anyone for anything, but rather prayed and trusted.
So there you have it. It is my attempt to live out what I say I believe and to search for the elusive dream of satisfaction in God. I don’t want to be too busy or too tired to hear the promptings of service for God. So why did I feel like I had to quit? Apparently I am not at all a multi-tasker. Couldn’t to a part-time business while working full-time at TJ. It is far easier to cross the street than to have to face loving my neighbor. I want to be the Samaritan who took notice. Perhaps in the end, God doesn’t want us to multi-task. He just wants us to seek Him.
I will be journaling my progress, or regress as it may be on the blog. I quit my job. Now off I go.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
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