Physical

So, the other day I had a physical. It was probably the first complete one I have had in about five years. And here is what I know. My blood pressure is just a little bit high; my cholesterol is just a little bit high; my weight is a little bit high. Sigh. None of it is dangerously high, but just on the border of starting to be high. All are fixable. Lose weight, eat right, and exercise.
I waited five days for the other blood test results. This is the big one (PSA). This was the reason I went in and the one that I was most concerned about. So I waited. Five days. And worried a bit. And prayed a lot.

Why, a concern? No, I didn’t seem to have any symptoms that would cause any alarm. But, there is history. Genetic history.

My father was four years older than I am now when he died. His dad, my grandfather, died at about the same age. I never knew him. My brother diagnosed early and is fine. So history, let us just say, is not on my side.

I don’t know how I feel about death. I know I am not a big fan. I would like to day that I am not worried about it, but that is simply not true. I trust in God’s promise that I have eternal life because of my belief in Jesus, his Son. And I know that heaven and being forever in the presence will be far greater than anything I have yet experienced, but I still don’t want to go. At least not yet.

I don’t want to leave my wife and my son. I love them. Meeting T. after L. died made me live again. It made me love again. I want to spend as many days as I can with her and I. I want to see I. grow up and finish school. I want to see his wife.

But I also know that it is not up to me in the long run. It is in, and always have been in, God’s hands. So I waited.

The test came and the results were fine. The number was low and in the acceptable range. Big sigh. And thanks be to God.

Doesn’t mean I won’t ever get cancer. It just means that I don’t have it. Not now anyway. And that is good enough for me.