Choir member

The other night we went to a Christmas concert put on by the university that T. works for. There was an orchestra, jazz band, choir and chamber choir. Listening to them and to the songs of the holiday was really meaningful. It appeared that that there were about 600 people in the audience. Maybe more. A good turn out indeed.

Toward the end of the concert we, the audience, were asked to pick up our song booklets that were located on each seat and join in with the university choir and sing some old favorites. The last one was the Halleluiah Chorus. It was really enjoyable. Especially for me. And here is why.

Standing side by side with all of those people, and with song sheet in hand, singing that particular song made me think that for the first time I was a part of a choir. And I got a sense of what it may be like in heaven as we sang for the praise of our God and King. I was almost anticipating a tangible visit from the Most High.

When I was a teenager, I went to a youth group at a church near my house. All of the youth, except me, were raised in Christianity. I, on the other hand, was trying to discover my faith. Anyway, a church member wanted to have a youth choir. So, like most youth do, we all joined.

So there we were at first practice, youth in a line singing. The “director” stopped us and said, “Somebody is way off”. She went one by one and had us sing a certain word to determine the awfulness of noise. Yes, I was the awfulness. She had me sing it again and again trying to get me to hit the right note. But, to no avail. She finally just moved on. And so did I. I was a member of the choir for one practice, for one partial song.

Since that time, I don’t sing very loud. At church, I will sing all of the congregational songs. But I will sing softly. I know I can’t sing. I know I can’t “carry a tune”. And with others around, I sing even softer. Yet, I love music. And I love to sing. Those of you who can sing don’t understand the frustration of those of us who can’t sing but want to. So, when I am singing at church in a barely audible voice, inside my head and heart it is “top of my lungs” singing.

Until the other night.

On that night, along with 600 people, songbook in hand, I sang. I sang loud. I sang badly. But I sang nonetheless. Because for one night, I was a part of a choir.