So, I went to a youth student conference in Vancouver this weekend. We took four girls and one boy from our church. My wife and another worker S. were managing the young ladies. I was responsible for the guy.
When the first session ended at 11 pm, we drove to a local church where we were to spend the night. It was only a half-mile away from the conference building. It is a nice thing that churches by providing free sleeping accommodations for the teenagers and youth workers.
Our tiny group of two men shared a Sunday School room turned into an European style hostel with a church from Washington The ladies were in a larger room with the girls from that same group. As near as I could tell, the other group was comprised of twelve boys with two adult workers. Make that three.
Now here is the reason for my confusion. From the time we arrived at 11 until about 12:15, all I saw was twelve to fifteen boys, plus twenty five girls running, with what I can only say was, a muck. Not a leader in sight from the other group, unless you count the twenty something guy that stood quietly in place as still as the British Royal guard at his post. Missing only, of course was the big furry hat. But he wasn’t budging. And chaos was ensuing.
Now, here it is, 11:30 pm in a church parking lot, on a busy stretch of road, with houses behind. And there are students from the 6th grade through the 11th grade, from other towns in the Northwest, yelling, throwing footballs, running, skateboarding throughout the parking lot in pitch black darkness. Twice I heard sirens. Thought they were coming for us.
Then at about 12:15am their other leaders arrived with eight party pack boxes from Taco Bell. Really? Taco Bell? Hear me when I say that I not at all opposed to “fourth meal”, but with middle schoolers and their innards combined with greasy beef and bean Mexican fast food topped with 12:30 in the early AM, that will have only one very unpleasant result.
So, we huddled into our rooms at about 1:00am for a long restful slumber of 6 hours, if, and only if, sleep comes now. Which, of course, didn’t happen. My guy and I have, at this point, placed our sleeping bags in the only spot left.
The other group had spread out through the entire room with sleeping bags, backpacks, I-pods, and their tacos and bean burritos. And for the next half hour, I see the “leaders” of the other group mosey into the room one by one. With each one, I extend a hand and offer awkward introductions.
As I observe the young people in their element, which includes dropping taco meat in their sleeping bags, throwing a rubber ball with extreme inaccuracy, and singing loudly to a song with a verse that ends with “in between the sheets”.
At this point I hear British Royal guard guy say softly, “that’s inappropriate”. Another leader came in and placed his sleeping bag on the couch and immediately went to bed. Not peep one from him. In fact, the only other sound from those “leaders” was after a teen from his group made a loud and lengthy expulsion from his backside. The “leader” said, “Billy, that was a gnarly one”.
I found another room where I could hunker down for the duration, because I am far too old to be on the frontlines of chemical warfare. Our group leaders had to, at times, be Mama and Papa Bear and put an end to the late hour talking.
And as everybody started to drift off to sleep in that one o’clock hour, Taco Bell began to kick in. I went to sleep after two and was up at six. Slept like a baby. I woke up every hour and a half and wanted to be held and fed.
So at six, I was getting ready for the day. Since there was no shower at the church, I cleaned up and washed my hair in the bathroom sink. When you were in the army, you learned how to wash up using our helmet. I was not in the army and I don’t owned a helmet, but I did it anyway. After everybody in our group woke up, we packed up, went to breakfast, and then we were off to the rest of the conference. Which was great.
With the observance of the obvious ineptness of that leadership, I realized this. People will not naturally do what is right and good. We make the assumption that teenagers, including Christian teens, will make the right choice and follow the way that they should go. That is just not the case. They need direction. They need leaders who will lead and not be on the sidelines. And those leaders were that night on the sideline. Now before I get all sanctimonious and pick up rocks to throw at them, I didn’t even help my one guy roll up his sleeping bag. Sigh.
Here is what happens to children from eight years old to twelve years old. It is at that time that parents will lose their position of influence over their kids. Let me repeat that. . It is at that time (between 8 and 12), that parents will lose their position of influence over their kids. It begins to switch to peers. Part of the reason may be that we quit leading them and start telling them. Influence, however, moves on. Somebody or something is influencing them be it media, music, curriculum, friends, or celebrities. They are following something. And somebody is leading them.
It might as well be us. Those who believe. Be a leader.
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