Rolling On

Just when you think everything is just progressing along, you get this twinge of memory that takes you back.  This memory of mine is both pleasantly reminiscent, yet with a dollop of stinging pain.  Either way, it caused me to ponder in places I generally don’t ponder.

Today would have been my Dad’s birthday.  He’s been gone now for twenty-seven years, but the date still sticks.  He was relatively young when he died.  As a matter of fact, I am just about the age he was, and just about the age of his father when he passed away.  So, you can see the cause for my introspection.

My dad was a decent guy, as dads go, I suppose.  I certainly see some of his personality and traits in myself, both for the good and for the bad.  He didn’t become a Christian until two weeks before he died.  I am thankful that God has no probationary period for believers. 

I sometimes wonder what he would have, could have, and should have taught me if he would have lived longer.  I don’t fret about it too much, but I still think about the things I may have missed out on by not having him around as I aged through life.  I am not much for the “what ifs”, since we always tend to think about the great and noble possibilities. But the fact of the matter is, there could have been some awkward and even ugly times.  So I must live in reflective contentment and just point out that, I remember.

And I also pause to remember that the previous year before he died, about the same time, is when I finally yielded my heart and mind to my Savior and entered into a forever relationship with Him, forgiven and free.  I would like to say that I have been completely obedient and faithful to Him all of these years, but come on, who can?  But I know that Jesus has been completely faithful to me.  He has seen me through many things and I am grateful.

Which comes to my second point of memories, good and somewhat bittersweet.  As of this time May 2012, I have officially been a Christian longer than not in my life.  Not sure what others will think about that, or even care, but for me, this is a big milestone.  It was a hope of mine that I would walk this earth longer as a servant to the One who created it, than as an unaware and uncaring person who was lost and dead in sin.

Like I had said, it isn’t like I have been perfect all these years on the other side of grace, but I have been His.  And that is fine by me.  Because it is grace that makes me stand, it is grace that gives me speech; it is grace that lights my walk, and it is grace that picks me up when I fall.

And for these past two years of attempting to “take a risk and live out in faith”, I have noticed the grass.  Sometimes it is greener.  And it has been wonderful.  I wish that I could stand here and say to you that in my entire Christian walk, I have given my all and been filled with so much of His passion, but I cannot.  But this one thing I do, “forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

My dad died a long time ago, but my Father God lives forever.  Praise be!