Over and Out

I haven’t blogged for a bit, and I haven’t done much in the realm of social media either, as I guess I was licking my wounds.  I probably didn’t need to be licking them and I probably shouldn’t have felt wounded at all, but it did.

I got disappointed.  Big deal, everybody gets disappointed.  You are right, and I know this.  I so do not want to be the type that puts on the perpetual pity party, but this one kind of stung.

Disappointment usually comes in two forms.  Either we disappoint somebody, or somebody disappoints us.  Sometimes it is the actions that disappoint and sometimes it is words.  Or promises.  Now we all have our reasons for acting, saying, or doing something that causes disappointment.  Circumstances, situations, life just gets in the way sometimes and we are unable to keep our word or our obligations.

I know that I should not have felt so hurt by this because I certainly have been a disappointment, even a huge disappointment, in the eyes of others.  And when that happens, I want them to forgive me or just “get over it” as it really doesn’t matter in light of eternity.  And usually it doesn’t matter in light of the next year or two. 

And I find that my disappointment in others stem from my own pride.  They made a promise and I feel like they have violated my trust, my rights, my schedule and now, instead of yelling at them, instead of confronting them, because that is not the Christian thing to do, I will just internalize it, feel bad about my violation, and wallow here a bit in my hurt.  Guess what, that is not the Christian thing to do.

People will disappoint us, people will say things that cause hurt to us, people will not keep their promises, people will lie to us.  That is always going to happen.  Because nobody is perfect, and yes, that includes you and me.  And it isn’t like other people do not get disappointed as well.  We are all one big populous of disappointers and disappointments.

We even feel that God has disappointed us.  Things didn’t turn out the way we expected.  After all, we did our part, but He seemed to drop the ball on our end.  I believed, I prayed (with confidence), I acted and behaved as I should and this is the thanks I get?  Nothing.  He knew how much I wanted this to be or happen.
And I always find, as it relates to my faith, that the disappointment is not in God, His ways or even His promises; it inevitably comes and sits on my own shoulders and I must carry the burden.  Because I had expected God to act a certain way, my way, and because of that He failed me.

The reality is that God never disappointed me at all.  I placed things upon Him that were not part of His “big picture”.  And my friends, He has a pretty “big picture”.  When it seems like He has disappointed you, take courage in knowing that He has not.  It is we, who have attempted to make God work for us, instead of us working for Him.  After all it is we, who believe, who are called “bond-servants”.

And now back to my disappointment.  I am over it. It wasn’t mine in the first place.  And here I go again.  Pressing on.