Impending Change

Periodically, I have these moments where I sense that something is going to happen. I don’t mean a doom and gloom prophecy, or a world changing prediction. I just mean, that in my life, there are certain times in which I become increasingly aware that things are going to move in a different direction or path than life, especially my life, is now heading.


And, like I have just mentioned, this is one of those times. In the next couple of weeks, there will have to be some decisions made and choices picked. More on the specifics later but suffice it to say, it will affect us.

For as long as I can remember, my life has been like that. First, there seems to be a feeling in me that something is shifting in my world. Though I cannot, at that particular moment, put my finger on it, or conclusively say what the outcome will be, I do know that it has started. And then I begin to pay attention. And I, even at times, make some little decisions to, well, try to determine the direction the big change seems to be on.

My wife was talking to her boss about the events I am speaking of, and his comment was that I “seemed to have been on a journey to figure himself out lately “. She agreed and said that seemed like “such a perspective probably could cover his whole life… that he’s always been pondering one season to the next.” And, so it stands to reason that I am just keenly aware of the process and details of the journey itself. I just don’t realize it, because my brain doesn’t work like that. I don’t seem to be able to separate and diagnose things like that.

Turns out that I don’t recognize my modus operandi as a human. At least until someone tells me the way I function. For instance, someone once told me that I would enjoy a certain musical artist because the artist, like me, was a dreamer. Me, a dreamer? I hadn’t really thought about it. I thought everybody reflects upon the what-ifs and the possibilities. I thought everybody ponders and wonders, hopes and imagines. That does explain my décor sign that simply has the word “IMAGINE” upon it. Yeah, I guess I am a dreamer.

More than one person has told me that I was abstract. I don’t know what that means. Okay, I know what abstract mean. I just don’t know that they mean when they say I think and speak abstractly. They tell me that I don’t understand because I don’t just think or speak in an abstract manner, but because my entire being “is” abstract. Now what am I going to do with that information? I just take everybody’s comments and observations and placed them in a new manila folder and put them in my backpack and head down the path of life and see where this journey is leading me and what type of terrain I am to traverse. Ooooooh! I get it now, I think. Yeah, I guess I am abstract.

Back to my main point. There is definitely going to be change. Just don’t know what it is yet. And here is where faith and trust comes in to play. When changes happen in life, do we, as people of God, claim the assurance that He is in control and is carrying out His will for our lives? And do we, as people of God, make choices and decisions, based upon our relationship with Him? Yes, and our choices and decisions need to be weighed using those factors, i.e. (He being in control and our relationship with Him).

Therein is the struggle of faith and trust. And perhaps that is the expedition that we are ultimately on. The walk “through” faith. Can’t wait to see what is on the other side.